Screentime: Robert Ingi Douglas, Local Filmmaker

"Screentime" is a regular magazine column in which we ask Beijing personalities to tell us about the films and television shows that have left an indelible impression on them.

In the biopic of your life, which scene should be filmed in slow motion?
The moment I had the idea for my current feature film. I was sitting in The Den drinking a pint of Tsingtao and opposite me was a bald English teacher who said he wanted to do more with his life than just teach English in Beijing. Then two Nigerians came walking in, followed by drunk Australian rugby players – the camera would be pointed at me and I’d get this look on my face as if I had an idea. Actually, the whole film would be slo-mo, black-and-white, and you’d only see me in it. I would film it entirely in French – befitting an ego like mine. I’d also direct it. Hell, I’d even shoot, produce and score it! But I’d get Leonardo Di Caprio to act the part of myself, obviously.

Which character from a TV show or movie reminds you the most of you?
Niles Crane, brother of Frasier Crane. It’s mostly the looks. If I was still 18, I would say James Dean, but Niles took over the moment I hit 30.

Which season of which TV show was a complete waste of time?
Prison Break, season 4.

What is the slowest paced movie you still enjoyed?
Most of Ingmar Bergman’s movies ... Scandinavian bleakness at snail’s pace but very enjoyable none the less.

What’s the finest breakout performance you can recall?
Christopher Loton in This is Sanlitun. You heard it here first: We’re looking at the next Eric Bana (when he was funny) and before he became a Hollywood hunk.

Is there a literary adaptation that works better as a movie than as a book?
The Shining is much better than the book. Rising Sun comes close, but more for unintentional comic reasons; the book was a serious thriller and it doesn’t have Sean Connery as the Sensei Japanese Expert.

What’s the last movie that made you cry?
The Expendables 2. Chuck Norris should have stayed in the ’80s. The others looked like alien freaks with all their Botox, but Chuck looked like he was halfway into his grave. A sad day for the action genre.

Favorite sequel?
National Lampoon’s Christmas Vacation, since it’s the holiday season ... but Godfather II and Evil Dead II are up there also.

What film should be made into a TV show?
Citizen Kane. Let’s take the biggest classic of them all and turn it into a 100-episode Chinese soap opera.

This is Sanlitun is currently in post-production and will be out in 2013.

This article originally appeared on page 49 of the January issue of the Beijinger.

Photo: Sui