Imp Parlor Limps Lamely Along Into Sanlitun F&B Obscurity
Imp Parlor Gastro Lounge will drive you to drink ... anywhere else. Yes, you'll be longing for a stress relieving night cap at a remotely competent joint after visiting this dastardly bar, which is taking up valuable space in the basement of a Xindong Lu building. Its downstairs terrace area, which is highly visible to passersby, makes it eyecatching and ideal for day drinking, a patio with plenty of potential that really should be put to use by far more capable owners. Little wonder it hasn't gotten much attention, despite its excellent location.
We were certainly hoping for much more as we made our way down the steps from Xindong Lu and onto that enticing entryway, tastefully decked out with minimalist black tables and gray chairs that gave it a classy, modern vibe that was furthered by its interior. Alas, the hapless bartenders handed us a menu that was surprisingly devoid of signature cocktails. We tried the RMB 90 Nikolaschka, one of the few rarities on a menu full of generic choices like a Zombie (also RMB 90), Blue Hawaii (RMB 80), negroni (RMB 100), and whisky sour (RMB 80).
Having never tried the cognac, lemon, and coffee powder combination listed as the Nikolaschka's ingredients on the menu, we expected at least an adequately mixed glass full of potent booze, citrusy zest from the lemon, and a subtle and bitter aftertaste from the coffee. Instead, the bartender poured us a shot of the cognac, placed a slice of lemon on top and then lazily poured coffee powder on top of the lemon, before sitting it in front of us without a word of explanation. If the menu had simply stated that this option was a frathouse-style shot, instead of listing it as the very first option on its "craft cocktail page," then we wouldn't have felt so duped. For the sake of morbid curiosity I downed the shot, bit into the lemon, and swallowed a bit of the coffee powder, as the bartender begrudgingly instructed after I looked at him increduously several times over, much to the amusement of the poor pals I'd dragged along with me. As I winced at the bitter flavor I glanced around for cameras, thinking this must be some sort of televised practical joke.
But no, the sampling of Imp's other drink options proved the bar was every bit as awful as it seemed. For instance their RMB 80 New York sour was made with Heaven Hill Kentucky bourbon (because nothing suits a Big Apple-themed drink more than deep south whiskey), a splash of Arboleda Chilean red wine from 2014, lemon juice, and a dash of sugar. If the bartender had fumbled and spilled a few random bottles off the bar and into the glass, the mixture would've been a better success. Instead, this harshly conflicting sweet-and-sour drink had no semblance of purpose, the wine rising to the top in a cringe inducing goopy layer that rendered the whiskey sour enough to gag on.
To call Imp unimpressive would be an understatement, to say the least. As is, it won't last long, considering the far better new choices within spitting distance like The Bricks, Ginger, and whiskey watering hole Fugue. Yes, Imp Parlor will need some serious parlor tricks – namely, friendlier, somewhat competent bartenders, and at least a few decent original cocktails – if it hopes to hold its own in Beijing's overcrowded, increasingly competitive cocktail scene.
Imp Parlor Gastro Lounge
Daily noon-2am. B1, 12 Xindong Lu, Chaoyang District
朝阳区新东路12号楼3号院星天地酒店底商B1
More stories by this author here.
Email: kylemullin@thebeijinger.com
Twitter: @MulKyle
Photos: Kyle Mullin
