Why Can't Beijing Do Great Chain Restaurants?

It’s a rhetorical question, just so you know. But I wouldn’t have asked had I not gone to Hangzhou yesterday. But I did, and here I am. China’s Beverly Hills-On Sea (well, lake). Strolling the leafy boulevards (litter-free, few cars, fur coats, fake lashes), I’m heartened to realise that China does do classy. Or at least it’s evidence that if you throw enough money at somewhere (and we’re talking an awful lot), and make it ultra exclusive, it’ll eventually be really nice. And it is. Welcome to Hangzhou.

But I want to tell you about Hangzhou’s best-loved restaurant chain - Waipojia （外婆家）, translated awkwardly to “The Grandma’s”, and referred to amongst local English speakers as “Grandma's Kitchen" (lol). With around twenty branches, it’s all over the city, and, so the locals have warned me, you have to queue in every one. I joined the lines at a lakeside branch above a Starbucks, nibbled some free snacks in the queue then ascended the lift to a huge, very cool dining space packed with locals, young and old, stuffing their faces on cheap, artful Hangzhou fare.

A Dadong-sized menu (with a graphical border in the style of an iPad, but we'll forgive them that) is packed with appetizing dishes like this signature Dongpu braised pork, served with dried fish, mushrooms and bamboo. "Grandma's Pork" comes in at RMB 39 and is just about the most expensive thing on the menu. Yes, no treasures! No shark fin! No bird's nest! There's a couple of abalone stir-fries, but they're simple and cheap. In fact, most dishes are south of RMB 20.

Think of home-grown Beijing chains - ones with ten or more branches that serve local or locally-inspired food (so not Annie's) - and you've got Quanjude for duck (overpriced, mostly tourists), all those Judehuatian snack places (older locals and a bit grim, frankly)，a few hot pot joints, fast food, etc. Nothing, I'd say, that can compete with The Grandma's on quality, professionalism and price.

The decor is hip and fun; I sat on a big wooden bench table with views out to the lake past glitzy car showrooms. My table mates were all locals - a girl and her grandma, tucking into spicy fish heads and clams; a courting couple on the other side with a strange order of several shaved ice desserts and lamb ribs. Service was efficient (you tick off the orders yourself on a card), food was great, no one was smoking, spitting, or bellowing like rum-soaked pirates, and the bill was way more modest than expected. In fact, the only Beijing dining experience I can compare it to is Najia Xiaoguan.

From the outside looking in, Beijing's restaurant scene starts to look like a confused mix of wallet-busting fine-dining, cowboy chancers and confoundingly cheap local eats, with a bit of everything else thrown in for good (or bad) measure. And most of it in need of a bloody good scrub. I'm not saying Hangzhou is perfect (I have only been here for two days to be jumping to such wildly disloyal conclusions) but as a newly born again Southern sophisticate, it'll be just a bit grim going back up north.