Opening Night

Glimpses of Hooters VIP Party

A photograph of a Chinese girl in orange daisy dukes and airbrushed cleavage was propped against the wall. Beneath her, a banner promised, "Hooters will make you happy!"

The Hooters girls appeared to have no idea what Hooters means. They thought it had something to do with an owl. Walking through the front door, we were greeted by a gust of high-pitched chirping voices, heralding an evening of fabricated enthusiasm. “Hello-o-o-o-o!” trilled one girl. I stole a glance at her skin-tight T-shirt. She wasn’t all that. “Welcome to Ho-o-o-o-o-o-ooters” shrieked another five. I blinked another embarrassed flicker of my eyes for another disappointment. They weren’t all that. Shanghai Hooters' director of operations noted that in China, they hired girls on personality rather than physical attributes.

Ms. Hooters 2006 was there. She was a sultry thing, and spoke in a husky purr. The contrast with her clapping and squealing Beijing counterparts could not have been greater. Cultural differences? Occidental versus Oriental sexiness? Hello, Ph.D dissertation.

I ordered draft beer. One of the girls brought me a bottle. My pal ordered draft beer. One of the girls brought him a bottle. Another guy at my table ordered a bottle. One of the girls brought him a warm bottle. Ten minutes later, a draft beer and two bottles, one warm and one cold, showed up at our table unannounced.

After we’d eaten satisfying American diner-grub, the hostess introduced high-level Hooters management for a few speeches. Then a pair of dancers with pom-poms performed an energetic routine. In a tragically misinformed musical selection, they tossed their hair and wiggled their empty white shorts to Sir Mix-a-lot’s Baby Got Back.

An enormously overweight guy with a fat trembling lower lip asked for napkins. A Hooter’s girl got on her tip-toes to wipe the sweat off his bald head.

“Now,” howled the hostess, “everyone please gather to enjoy our traditional dance!” The girls clambered onto stools and performed the YMCA.

I took off running.

Beijing Hooters
Opens 11am on Sep 12.
Sun-Thu 11-1am, Fri-Sat 11-2am. 201 China View Bldg, Intersection of Gongti Bei and Gongti Donglu (next to the Den), Chaoyang District (6585 8787)
www.hooterschina.com
朝阳区工体东路和北路的交口中国红街1号201室