Stop Inducing Secession And Watching Porn On The Internet

Because two adorable cartoon police officers are watching you, from this Saturday. The police officers, named Jing and Cha (following the same brilliant naming scheme that engendered the fuwas), will pop up every half-hour on the thirteen largest China-based Internet portals. City officials have promised that the two cyber-cops will expand their beat to all websites registered in Beijing by the end of the year.

Jing and Cha won’t actually be policing you – at least, not any more than the government’s been policing the Internet in the past. Instead, the powers-that-be hope you’ll just be guilted into stopping whatever illicit activities you may be engaging in – be it watching pornography or surfing “websites that incite secession, promote superstition, gambling and fraud,” according to the China Daily. To help you understand what that means, it’s much as if your mother, hoping to stop you from engaging in premarital sex, were to place, right next to your bed, a huge photo of herself smiling and wagging her finger.

But Jing and Cha, who will walk, drive or ride a motorcycle across the computer screen, as well as issue text warnings to obey the law and safeguard yourself on-line, will be more interactive than that poster of your mother – just clicking on them will bring you to a site where you can report malicious (and false, right?) Internet information and pornography. Here’s to a cleaner, cuter Internet.

Links and Sources
China Daily: Virtual cops will patrol cyberspace
The Telegraph: Beijing police pop up to warn internet users