Well Cui Hua had just blown into Hanzhou on the 53 hour K train outa Suihua, Heilongjiang, 站票,so her toilet was understandably a bit deshambled, but she had a lovely ruby red lipstick on an matching flipflops so I paid no nevermind to the milk (soya milk that is) stains on her dress.I just read a novel, scriven with ruby lipstick on my hotel bathroom mirror. It was entitled `Arguing With Chinese Women'. The first line read thus: 不,没有, 没办法, 三百块钱一半个小时。 This trope did not develop well and the ending was predictable.
Never mind the trope. Howzza 'bout the 300 kuai trollop?
I, likewise, was first day in Hangzhou, and like most men travelling and staying at budget hotels, I had a mighty hankering for a good game of chess. However, in my haste to travel, I had neglected to pack my chess board. Divine intervention intervened, and some hotel staff member slipped under my door a business card. Thereupon were the words`Chess Partners Available' thereupon was pasted an image of a seemingly lascivious young, well cleavaged, lass, holding upright in palm of left hand a knight and a bishop in what can only be described as a rude configuration, and in the right hand, of course, a pawn.
Shakingly, anticipatingly did I punch my cellphone, `Come, come, come quickly' I exhorted, `Room 520, Home Inn'.
Barely had I set down my phone when I hear a knock. Cui Hua it was, pink flipflops and all. I apologetically explained that I had forgotton my equipment for chess playing. `Mei wenti' she says ` I have all the equipment'. So saying she withdraws from plastic garbage bag she was carrying her chess set.
`What the hell is this' !?!? I stammer, `there are cannons and elephants and soldiers,.... this ain't chess; where the hell are the bishops and knights, like in the picture?'
I wave the business card in her face. `False f*ckin advertising I call it!!!'
·图片仅供参考‘, she sylphs demurely in my ear; the scent of garlic, suan cai and old soya milk wafting seductively from her ruby lips.