Hebei Provincial Government Restaurant: Silent Hebei
It all started with five people trudging through the pollution, ready to kill for some fresh air.
Nestled in a hutong off a hutong, not at all like any horror film we’ve ever seen (*cough* Silent Hill *cough*) the journey from the main road to the restaurant was arduous on this smoggy day. At the end of the first hutong, we spotted a few signs attached to a dilapidated lamp post: “books,” “coffee,” and finally, “河北省驻京办,” or “Hebei Provincial Government.”
Declining books and coffee, things got darker and spookier as we followed the “Hebei Provincial Government” sign, with not a white-but-gray cat or a man in fleecy Burberry-print pajamas in sight. After about two minutes, which felt more like a lifetime, we arrived at an alley that ended in a traditional Chinese gate.
There was nobody around, just a sign on the door reading “请勿参观，请勿.” If you’re not a reader of Chinese, that means “Don’t visit, don’t enter.” Friendly Hebei.
However, the Prov Gov column forges on, so we wandered in regardless, finding a deserted hotel lobby with that faint fourth-tier-city-business-hotel-but-best-in-this-damned-city smell.
A woman popped up from behind a column, and pointed us around the corner of the courtyard, to “the copper door.” By this point I was ready to pack up and go home. This feeling did not subside upon finding a dark open door leading onto a long corridor of empty private dining rooms. In true horror movie style, a man appeared at the top of the stairs, shouting “we have five foreign friends!” at which point a tiny woman appeared from what appeared to be a secret shaft. Mostly we were just happy that she wasn’t carrying an axe.
The menu isn’t worth much discussion: The waitress confirmed that there are no special Hebei dishes, although she could maybe whip us up some roubing, Hebei dahuicai (a not-very-photogenic mix of cabbage, glass noodles, tofu, and meatballs), beef with potatoes, and gongbao shrimp. After taking our order she closed the door and the gas started leaking from the roof of the dining room until we all passed out into the gongbao shrimp. Well, not really; it was more in the kitchen. From the stoves.
In the end we survived the experience. And while the food is only slightly more than palatable, there’s nothing too Hebei about this place.
Hebei Provincial Government Restaurant
Daily 11.30am-1.30pm, 6-9.30pm. Zuiba Hutong, Huanghuamen Jie, Dongcheng District (6403 1303)
河北省驻京办：东城区黄花门街锥把胡同
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Email: margauxschreurs@truerun.com
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Photos: Margaux Schreurs
