Laowai Music Videos Part 1: The Domestic Talent

The recent release of Coldplay's "Princess of China" (lamentable despite a guest turn from the lovely Rihanna) inspired us to look into the pantheon of rock and pop legend to compile a selection of the best and worst China-referencing tunes committed to record. But we'll get to that in Part 2 of this musical double-header, because Coldplay's flirtation with the Middle Kingdom has also given us an excuse to present you with this compendium of the "best" expat-sung, Chinese-language music videos.

the Beijinger team's favorite by some distance is this effort from a Norwegian guy called "Xiao Ou" (visit his Weibo page here). While it's hard to believe any of these guys were actually serious with this let's-make-a-music-video-in-Chinese thing (except maybe Hazza - see below), Xiao Ou is the most convincingly tongue-in-cheek of them all. His rhymes are the least cliche-ridden, his hook is the catchiest, and fair play to him for wrestling a song title out of the phrase "Nage Nage Laowai." Here we go ...

Next up are Feichang Fresh, who have styled themselves in the vein of one of those "street" boy bands like Blazin' Squad, East 17 or early New Kids on the Block. These boys are pretty prolific, but this ode to the joys of life in Beijing probably sums them up best.

Was that not Feichang Fresh enough for you? Have a look at the lads' Youku page for their full ouevre. Oh go on, let's throw in one more of their hot joints (featuring a truly terrible dance routine) here ...

MC Zero puts his rapping chops to practical use in this trip to McDonald's, though if this was a battle, the drive-thru girl probably wins ...

Moving on swiftly, here's "Andong" with the traditionally flavored "You Ge Laowai Zai Beijing," featuring a video in which our expat hero is persuaded to take a peek through a lao Beijing kaleidoscope and is taken on a trip that looks like a Beijing version of Yellow Submarine.

There had to be a ballad sooner or later, and here it comes courtesy of the silver-tongued sea of emotions that is Hazza. This is excruciating. Still, he's so intent on looking you dead in the eye that you almost feel sorry for him, whatever his plight is.

This one breaks the rules slightly. These guys rap in French rather than Chinese, but probably only because in the badlands of foreign student hip-hop turf war, it was clear Feichang Fresh would send these guys packing. They're also dreadful at bargaining.

Finally, the wonderfully named Da Pan Ji Unit seem not to have made it to the Chinese video sites, but readers who can access YouTube can check out "Party," their dissection of the harsh realities of life in an "unknown shit area" here.

We've only just scratched the surface, but that's probably been enough to draw blood. There's much more of this stuff out there on Youku, Tudou and elsewhere, should you want to delve deeper. We're not sure why they do it, but it seems foreigners are going to keep making music videos showcasing their Chinese singing and rapping talents. And let's face it, these videos may be daft, but foreigners have been caught on film doing worse.

Oh, just one last one. If the object of this guy's song was really such a "hao pengyou," they'd have told him this was a rubbish idea.

PHOTO: ChinaSMACK