Talking Balls: Festus's Festive Folly, Yao's Funny Videos & Soccer Shockers

Jonathan White | Dec 23, 2011 6:00 pm | Add a comment | 1042 reads

“It’s the most wonderful time of the year.” Well, it is for everyone who is not known as Festus Baise. The football player (who sounds like Festivus to the rest of us) has found worldwide infamy over the last week for the most unfortunate of actions – scoring an own goal. He did it in a Hong Kong first-division game and his Sun Hei side ended up on the wrong side of a 3-2 reverse at the hands of Citizen AA. Merry Christmas, everyone. Here’s your present.

From the unfortunate to the pantomime villains of sport, those teams that you love to hate. China Sports Review introduces Talking Balls to a new sports term, i.e. the "Evil Empire." Their article goes onto explain that the New York Yankees (understandably) and Manchester United (a lazy comparison) are examples of Reagan-speak. It’s worth a read despite its lack of football nous as it picks the Chinese teams that are most likely to rile opposition and neutral alike. Treat yourself to a read and pick some new sides to hate for the New Year.

As if right on cue, Manchester United are exonerated of their Evil Empire tag by none other than the Chinese courts. The Red Devils were mentioned in the ongoing football corruption scandal – but only because the guilty ref in question admitted to taking bribes during their 2007 friendly against Shenzhen FC. No one has claimed that the Old Trafford side had anything to do with any wrongdoing whatsoever. There’s more on the trial here and here.

Yao Ming is a very silly man. He’s been making jokey videos about copying his classmates' homework. The Ministry of Tofu covers it all here. Silly Yao.

Before the news in short, here’s another Christmas gift for you. It’s last week’s “Who’s Hot and Who’s Not in Chinese Sport” from our heroes at China Daily. Remember, a WHAWNICS is for life and not just for Christmas.

In short

  • China Sports Review focuses on Liu Wei, Yao’s compatriot in the Shanghai Sharks 2002 championship winning team.
  • A San Diego doc has said that Chinese people can play in the NFL. Off you go, then. Good luck.
  • After recently sending young players to Liverpool, China is now sending kids to Spain. Villareal, Atletico Madrid and Valencia are the host clubs.
  • Japan’s former coach, Takeshi Okada, is the new manager of the CSL’s Hangzhou Greentown. There has been no further word on the speculation linking Jean Tigana with Shanghai Shenhua.
  • Li Na took some famous tennis players around Wuhan. Talking Balls hopes they went to Sugar F**king Daddy’s bar. That’s a highlight of Wuhan.
  • On the same trip, Pete Sampras backed Li Na to come back strong in 2012. Do it, Li Na.
  • Super Dan, or Lin Dan as we prefer to call him, has won all of the badminton ever. Read all about it here.

Photo: The Sun