anoterh things that bugs me is `16;30,' as in i will be there at 16:30 . Cantcha just say 4:30 this afterfoon? you think you is comin 4:30 in the morning. Unless ya aint a really a really high or low class hooker doin some dregs , ya aint comin at 4:30 in the mornin.
Enter the beer code below, or above, as the case may, and or a picture of a pink elbow If you are Elbonian, as we at the Beijinger are non-ethnist.
16:30 is a time? I thought it was some Chinese hoo-doo reincarnation sh*t. Like my boss asked me where I was at 1630 and I just naturally assumed she was talking about my fekking up at the Battle of Randeniwela where the Sri Lankans whupt the pudding out of the Portugese. I showed her my crystal ball, where I was busy helping Massachusetts Bay Colony outlaw dice and cards that same year. Turns out my boss was talking about some afternoon meeting yesterday. So now, not only am I jobless, I'm also down for 30 days mental evaluation after babbling about the Reverend Richard Mather having first claim on my time rather than a gang of freebooter Portugese soldiers of fortune. A mistake that could happen to anybody. But, like the doctor here says, "Yes, but it happened to you. I'll be back at 7:30." So now here I am. Does he mean tomorrow morning, or do I have to fobb off King Pelayo de Asturias with another excuse why I can't come hang with the Goths on Biscay's Bay circa 730?
Another interesting story, which is entirely true. Two days ago, I left my glasses in classroom after end of class. I get bao an sorta lady at front desk to open my classroom. Glasses are gone. So yesterday I go to optician, buy two sets of simple reading glasses for 620 kuai , first one was empty (first eyeglass box) And, drunkenly quickly lost the other pair of glasses. So today, late afternoonish, being glassless I wander out, stop in a nearby yaodian 药店, see iffen they gots any eyeglasses. They gots no eyeglasses for sale, but they gots eyeglasses that they offer to old folk for to use when in their store. They gave me a pair, said givem back in a day or two. Which I will.
Now in Canada every freaking chao shi, corner store, budget store and etc, has a rack of cheap reading glasses from magnification 1.5 up to 4 . They cost 2 bucks, last time I was in Canada, maybe they are 4 bucks now, I don't know. They are all made in China, but I can't get them in China? 为啥？
anoterh things that bugs me is `16;30,' as in i will be there at 16:30 . Cantcha just say 4:30 this afterfoon? you think you is comin 4:30 in the morning. Unless ya aint a really a really high or low class hooker doin some dregs , ya aint comin at 4:30 in the mornin.
Enter the beer code below, or above, as the case may, and or a picture of a pink elbow If you are Elbonian, as we at the Beijinger are non-ethnist.
So, Chinese girlfriend , married, ( whose husband is trying to find an kill me, or at least cut off my penis) askus me why I drink. I says `cuz life is so tedious, an it helps me think'. What do you think about?, says she. Wittgensteins Tractatus, the structure of musical notation, the metaphysical implications of hopscotch say I. Hahaha says she. Can't find a good woman nowheres. (though I must say, she has a heart of gold, and a mind made of butter) Heart trumps mind, every time. Ya gotsa heart, mind an body. Mind trumps body, heart trumps mind. That's how I see things.
Enter the pogrom above and get a free hookworm injunction.
Didn't Nick Lowe or George Jones or mebbe Gustav Mahler write a song about this kind of situation, "If You Don't Start Drinking, I'm Gonna Leave"?
Actually, though, to get any woman's permission to drink, just make friends with Mormons or Joe Hoover's Witnesses or some other teetotalling sect. When the lady sees your friends don't drink, she'll try to poison your relationship and start serving margaritas for breakfast, neat bourbon at afternoon tea and cetera.
Actually i was part of Joe Hoover's for many a long year. bout 22 give or take. I got the bible up the yinyang for many a year. Monday, Wednesday, Sunday.... more bible and scriptural liteature ( ie there propaganda) They is not teatolling though, just drink in moderation, for one must remember the turning of water into wine. Of course this was in the Gospel of John, which is so thoughougly saturated with neo-Platonismisc motiffs that ya gotsa be an idjid not to see it. But them Joe Hoovers are a bit thick.
Enter the colour of your right foot biggest toenail and/ or the UVF frequency emanating from you earlobe drone device.
I am again inspired. This time to frame an elegant haiku after the manner of the refined 小鬼子。
“Persimmons shining among autum leaves/ As after his sitzbath/ Uncle Joe's hemorrhoids glisten"
MEMO: To Bao Luo---don't come sniffing around counting syllables. In the original pre-Shogunate Japanese, the count is 100% correct.
Not to worry, not to worry, I only gots ten fingas, an ten toes, which are usually shod.(Toes that is, I rarely wear shoes on my hands, though sometimes I do) Anything over 20 I become confuzzled. An' I wouldn't know a Japanese syllabus from an omnibus anyways.
`Confuzzled' bye the by, is a neologism created by Patti Stepien, circa 1995, conflating `confused' and `puzzled' . I think it works.
Entre la lotus, just entre la lotus. 来，来。 进入 buddy.
Is a freshly-chopped down tree a "neolog?" I figgered a Canadian might know, being a lumberjack and ok and all. B.C.-ers make leo-logs, Newfies eat quohogs, and the shining land between is truly a Trudeau's true-doing.
I have cut done a few trees in my day,, with chainsaw, more labouresly with bow saw.. Done both. , Whack in the wedge, make it fall anywhere ya want, I ain't an ijdjit yet. , bein a country boy and all,, but I managed to plant about 800,000 thousands of them, Of course not all of them survived. 8 years planting trees should get me at least a freindly slap on the back.
Enter the freemasons handshake in reverse using Swahillli
The only way to stay in business is to welcome ACTUAL patrons. Reminds me of Quine's riposte talking about several "possible men" standing in the same doorway.
By the by, the 70's and 80's were the Apollo's heyday? The place closed in 1978, I thought. Or did it cater to potential customers in the 80's?
So there I was, standin on sdewak corner, looking for some potential money. Factroy acrooss the way, so i goes in, walks to the desk . `Ya gots any potential job fer me? I mutters, lookin at my shoe. `Potentially' says secretary, let me check with the manager. Manager come in, counts my eyes and noses, say ` well he seems to have two eyes, one nose composed of two nares, he is hired. See what potential can get you.
Enter the entry of all enteredness. Take off your feet.
So, Chinese girlfriend , married, ( whose husband is trying to find an kill me, or at least cut off my penis) askus me why I drink. I says `cuz life is so tedious, an it helps me think'. What do you think about?, says she. Wittgensteins Tractatus, the structure of musical notation, the metaphysical implications of hopscotch say I. Hahaha says she. Can't find a good woman nowheres. (though I must say, she has a heart of gold, and a mind made of butter) Heart trumps mind, every time. Ya gotsa heart, mind an body. Mind trumps body, heart trumps mind. That's how I see things.
Enter the pogrom above and get a free hookworm injunction.
I am again inspired. This time to frame an elegant haiku after the manner of the refined 小鬼子。
“Persimmons shining among autum leaves/ As after his sitzbath/ Uncle Joe's hemorrhoids glisten"
MEMO: To Bao Luo---don't come sniffing around counting syllables. In the original pre-Shogunate Japanese, the count is 100% correct.
Not to worry, not to worry, I only gots ten fingas, an ten toes, which are usually shod.(Toes that is, I rarely wear shoes on my hands, though sometimes I do) Anything over 20 I become confuzzled. An' I wouldn't know a Japanese syllabus from an omnibus anyways.
`Confuzzled' bye the by, is a neologism created by Patti Stepien, circa 1995, conflating `confused' and `puzzled' . I think it works.
Entre la lotus, just entre la lotus. 来，来。 进入 buddy.
So, everyone is leaving. Except these two losers below
Buy me a plane ticket to Frankfurt or Uppsala and I'll be happy to leech off their hospitality. I'm the world's oldest war-orphan and " ¡No hablo Swedish!"
My paternoster gave me some good advice. Don't fight with the Mafia, wake up at 5 o'clock. buy shoes with straps, not laces, don't go teach English in China. I never listened to nuthin he ever said. April 1 1945 . Tom Pynchon used this well. April Fool's Day.
Enter the cucumber above.
My Pap tolt me beware of teachers what strap on cucumbers. An' back home to Appleate'cha, we never wore no lacy shoes. Any at all come to think on it. Part of our school's environmental awareness program. "Them hookworms need a place to live, too," like Mr. Gerkin the teacher tolt us.
Look, if Ivan Yakovlevitch can lose his nose I feel pretty entitled to lose my shoes, k' buddy?
By the way, Nikolai Gogol,auther of `The Nose' referenced above' was one of the few people that successfully starved themself to death. Another notable person was Kurt Godel; though there were also a few Irish prisoners in England that did such.
Enter with all due supplication and recalcitrance the elephant below , or above, as the case may be.
So, everyone is leaving. Except these two losers below
Buy me a plane ticket to Frankfurt or Uppsala and I'll be happy to leech off their hospitality. I'm the world's oldest war-orphan and " ¡No hablo Swedish!"
My paternoster gave me some good advice. Don't fight with the Mafia, wake up at 5 o'clock. buy shoes with straps, not laces, don't go teach English in China. I never listened to nuthin he ever said. April 1 1945 . Tom Pynchon used this well. April Fool's Day.
Enter the cucumber above.
My Pap tolt me beware of teachers what strap on cucumbers. An' back home to Appleate'cha, we never wore no lacy shoes. Any at all come to think on it. Part of our school's environmental awareness program. "Them hookworms need a place to live, too," like Mr. Gerkin the teacher tolt us.
That's Gherkin buddy, like with an haich. Where'd ya git yer spellin? Up in the Ozarks, I reckon with Miss Betty Lou.
So, everyone is leaving. Except these two losers below
Buy me a plane ticket to Frankfurt or Uppsala and I'll be happy to leech off their hospitality. I'm the world's oldest war-orphan and " ¡No hablo Swedish!"
My paternoster gave me some good advice. Don't fight with the Mafia, wake up at 5 o'clock. buy shoes with straps, not laces, don't go teach English in China. I never listened to nuthin he ever said. April 1 1945 . Tom Pynchon used this well. April Fool's Day.
Did you know that Julia Roberts plays mahjong regularly? At least that’s what she told Stephen Colbert in an interview on his talk show last year. That just goes to show the extent to which this fast-paced game of Chinese origins has spread and why you really should take it up(unquote)
I should take up Mah Jong because Julia Roberts plays it? Or just because she told some dude called Steve Colbert? Or because it spread? COVID spread (they say). I didn't take that up. Am I a fashion gimp?
Life usedda be simple, potatoes on mondday, carrots on tuesday, Corn an peas on Wednesday, repeat, Throw in some beef or chiccken . Go play in the swamp. Healthy and hale.
Enter the cod above. I have never entered a cod before, tho I have ripped the guts outa many a salmon.
Likckety split, hoppity hop , I have a band called Fragrent Mushroom Stew, but we aint't gettin no gigs. All our guitars are tuned to D flat, every string. We generally try to hop about on one foot but nobody is digging our style.
Enter the cosmopolotan crematoriium as folllows: J3DRF9Z
bring at least three bottles of water to stay hydrated (unquote)
"Stay hydrated." Does that have anything to do with drinking the water? As in "Bring water to drink." There. That's clear and scrubbed clean of all pseudo-clinical verbiage. That's the first step to hypochondria, you know. Fixation with clinicalese where plain speech will do. Of course, the present world order construes hypochondria as a virtue. So, ok. Knock yourself out signalling the virtue of nurturing self-care. Don't be traumatized by my jibes.
Sneeze only unto thy sleeve. hop on yer left foot on Monday, right foot on Tuesday. Aintcha learned nothin yet? Water is only allowed for vegetative plants, which may only be harvested on every third full moon.
Just get vaccinated, we will give you a free Dunkin Donut. (This actually happened, back in the States) In Netherlands it was `get vaccinated and you get 30 minutes with a hooker'. I only wish I was makin' this up, but I ain't. (bye the by, 30 minutes with the right hooker slaps Dunkin Donuts square in the face). I will eschew both, with the sublime repartie ` go fuck yerself'.
Does this not give one pause?
Enter a pantomime that simulates figures and numbers in an non-heterogenous manner. Grimiores be damned!
My idea of charity is to slip a big red into the pocket of some indigent, whilst he is asleep on sidewalk, or under a bridge. I don't want nobody, including him (rarely her) to know nothin about it. It ain't tax dectuctible, and I don't wants no pictures. I don't wanna attend any Galas. And I forget it as soon as it is done. As the good Lord sayeth, ` do not let your left hand know what your right hand is doing. This edict may also have beneficial masturbatory effects, but I wouldn't know about that.
Enter the Codex Mysterium, from above and below.
Besides from the codex you enter, there is the little box what says "Message" below one's photo. Better send yourself one and let yourself know how you're doing. You've been worried.
Of course, if you write that, "better send your Self a message and let You know you you're doing," you just became a Theosophist. That fact (plus 50 kuai) will get you an espresso-based, carmel infused, cold-dripshit, Frutti-fapacino in any Starbucks in China.
Sophie thought she sought a sophist that thought he sought a Theosophist. Sophie, the Theosophist, thought softly, then stood disabused. Tears streamed down like the dew on Mount Hermon. Poor Sophie.
My idea of charity is to slip a big red into the pocket of some indigent, whilst he is asleep on sidewalk, or under a bridge. I don't want nobody, including him (rarely her) to know nothin about it. It ain't tax dectuctible, and I don't wants no pictures. I don't wanna attend any Galas. And I forget it as soon as it is done. As the good Lord sayeth, ` do not let your left hand know what your right hand is doing. This edict may also have beneficial masturbatory effects, but I wouldn't know about that.
Now in Canada every freaking chao shi, corner store, budget store and etc, has a rack of cheap reading glasses from magnification 1.5 up to 4 . They cost 2 bucks, last time I was in Canada, maybe they are 4 bucks now, I don't know. They are all made in China, but I can't get them in China? 为啥？
Enter the free zone of benevolence and animosity.
I am Doktor Aethelwise Snapdragoon.
anoterh things that bugs me is `16;30,' as in i will be there at 16:30 . Cantcha just say 4:30 this afterfoon? you think you is comin 4:30 in the morning. Unless ya aint a really a really high or low class hooker doin some dregs , ya aint comin at 4:30 in the mornin.
Enter the beer code below, or above, as the case may, and or a picture of a pink elbow If you are Elbonian, as we at the Beijinger are non-ethnist.
I am Doktor Aethelwise Snapdragoon.
Enter the colour of your right foot biggest toenail and/ or the UVF frequency emanating from you earlobe drone device.
I am Doktor Aethelwise Snapdragoon.
Enter the freemasons handshake in reverse using Swahillli
I am Doktor Aethelwise Snapdragoon.
Enter the entry of all enteredness. Take off your feet.
I am Doktor Aethelwise Snapdragoon.
So, Chinese girlfriend , married, ( whose husband is trying to find an kill me, or at least cut off my penis) askus me why I drink. I says `cuz life is so tedious, an it helps me think'. What do you think about?, says she. Wittgensteins Tractatus, the structure of musical notation, the metaphysical implications of hopscotch say I. Hahaha says she. Can't find a good woman nowheres. (though I must say, she has a heart of gold, and a mind made of butter) Heart trumps mind, every time. Ya gotsa heart, mind an body. Mind trumps body, heart trumps mind. That's how I see things.
Enter the pogrom above and get a free hookworm injunction.
I am Doktor Aethelwise Snapdragoon.
`Confuzzled' bye the by, is a neologism created by Patti Stepien, circa 1995, conflating `confused' and `puzzled' . I think it works.
Entre la lotus, just entre la lotus. 来，来。 进入 buddy.
I am Doktor Aethelwise Snapdragoon.
By the way, Nikolai Gogol,auther of `The Nose' referenced above' was one of the few people that successfully starved themself to death. Another notable person was Kurt Godel; though there were also a few Irish prisoners in England that did such.
Enter with all due supplication and recalcitrance the elephant below , or above, as the case may be.
I am Doktor Aethelwise Snapdragoon.
Enter a fragrant wafting of rose petals below.
I am Doktor Aethelwise Snapdragoon.
My paternoster gave me some good advice. Don't fight with the Mafia, wake up at 5 o'clock. buy shoes with straps, not laces, don't go teach English in China. I never listened to nuthin he ever said. April 1 1945 . Tom Pynchon used this well. April Fool's Day.
Enter the cucumber above.
I am Doktor Aethelwise Snapdragoon.
So, everyone is leaving. Except these two losers below
I am Doktor Aethelwise Snapdragoon.
Enter the cod above. I have never entered a cod before, tho I have ripped the guts outa many a salmon.
I am Doktor Aethelwise Snapdragoon.
Likckety split, hoppity hop , I have a band called Fragrent Mushroom Stew, but we aint't gettin no gigs. All our guitars are tuned to D flat, every string. We generally try to hop about on one foot but nobody is digging our style.
Enter the cosmopolotan crematoriium as folllows: J3DRF9Z
I am Doktor Aethelwise Snapdragoon.
Sneeze only unto thy sleeve. hop on yer left foot on Monday, right foot on Tuesday. Aintcha learned nothin yet? Water is only allowed for vegetative plants, which may only be harvested on every third full moon.
enter the crackhead above
: KX96NpK
I am Doktor Aethelwise Snapdragoon.
Just get vaccinated, we will give you a free Dunkin Donut. (This actually happened, back in the States) In Netherlands it was `get vaccinated and you get 30 minutes with a hooker'. I only wish I was makin' this up, but I ain't. (bye the by, 30 minutes with the right hooker slaps Dunkin Donuts square in the face). I will eschew both, with the sublime repartie ` go fuck yerself'.
Does this not give one pause?
Enter a pantomime that simulates figures and numbers in an non-heterogenous manner. Grimiores be damned!
I am Doktor Aethelwise Snapdragoon.
For the love of Donuts!!! JESUSSSSSS!! WHY :(
wow this article was so lame
I am Doktor Aethelwise Snapdragoon.
My idea of charity is to slip a big red into the pocket of some indigent, whilst he is asleep on sidewalk, or under a bridge. I don't want nobody, including him (rarely her) to know nothin about it. It ain't tax dectuctible, and I don't wants no pictures. I don't wanna attend any Galas. And I forget it as soon as it is done. As the good Lord sayeth, ` do not let your left hand know what your right hand is doing. This edict may also have beneficial masturbatory effects, but I wouldn't know about that.
Enter the Codex Mysterium, from above and below.
I am Doktor Aethelwise Snapdragoon.