Yikes! you ate Lori too? She told me I was the first! This wasn't August 15th, 1984 by any chance? At the park around 2:30 am? After we got the bums rush outa the after hours basement bar down the back alleyway?yikes a doodle, Gio done gone hefted his vorpal blade, snicker snacking to the east and to the south. Let the war of words commence.Yikesah! I think Gio done gone sat his arse down on a cockleburr. That may perturb his lovemaking."The Jing"? So what does one call someone from there? A "jinger"? Sounds too much like them nasty mites called chiggers. Plus it'd swiftly morph into a woke trigger word, this being that month and all. "Jingese"? Sounds too unctuous. Like some kind of cheese product, mebbe stinky tofu put into tubes like Velveeta. "Jingites"? Sounds too much like something mineral. As in "Butt-Scratch Gulch" was founded as a boom town shortly after the Civil War by miners seeking nearby jingite lodes. "Jing-a-boo"? Sounds like another Jusse Smollet hoax. "Jingian" sounds like a food. You know, Kentucky Fried Jingian. "Jings"? Sounds like "jinx." Face it, no oe wants to be from a place called "the Jing." Might I suggest instead, "The Bei"? Then you could call your feature, 'Bei Watch."
·`Jinger' sounds like `Chigger'??! Who teached you yer scansion and a rhymin business? Ezra Kilogram, down the back alley? Mayhap in the Suzhou dialect, with a sore tongue.
The one suggests the other: short-i and -er ending. I was playing word-association, not frustrated-English-prof-who -can't-get-published-and- takes-it-out-by-savaging-naive-freshman-girls-till-they-attempt-suicide. Sadism swathed in erudition is still sadism. Like a donkey-dick in a French tickler, I still ain't gonna hold still and take it.
You however are. Sit down right there and let Dr. Gio swab your ears so you hears better. Q-tips go QAnon and if tyou wants to snivel about "aural rape," so be it. I don't give no trigger warnings till after I drop the hammer.
Hell hath no fury like a poet pissed-on.
I think that I shall never see
A poem as lovely as your 'auto de fe'*
That's what you get for dissing on me
Burnt at the stake, and hung on a tree
"Prose is for poofters and pussies," quote mine love Lenore,
Valiant Sir Gio hath prevailed in poetry's mellifluous war."
There! That's gotta be right up there with "The Song of Roland," and "Parzifal" all twisted intertranslated into one big Gordian knot of purest poetics. I'm throwing down the gauntlet to be the U.S. Poet-Lori-Ate.
Events and Happenings in the ‘Jing This Weekend (Feb 24-26)
Haven’t made plans yet this weekend? Well, here we’ve picked out a few things happening this weekend in the capital to give you some inspiration! Or for even more goings on check out our events page for this weekend.
Feb 24
What: Chengdu's Nico Comedy Show (also happening Feb 25)
Where: La Maison Lyonnaise
What: What the Folk?! Vol. 13
Where: Tribute Bar
What: Chanel & Erin
Where: Paddy O'Shea's
What: Last Cheese Fondue Craze
Where: Zarah
What: Movie Night: "Philomena"
Where: nugget
What: Romantic Caribbean Night
Where: Cafe Nature
What: Back to Old School
Where: Moonee
What: Santo Chino - The Same As It Ever Was
Where: Dada
What: BASSFORCE
Where: BBB
Feb 25
What: Vegans of Beijing's Chunbings (Spring Pancakes)
Where: 35 Deng Cao Hutong, Dongsi Nandajie, Dongcheng
What: In the Footsteps of the Emperors: A Walk and Discussion at the Temple of Heaven
Where: Temple of Heaven
What: Japanese Wagashi Handcraft Workshop
Where: The Hutong
What: Self-care Half Day Women's Retreat
Where: Yoga Spirit
What: Spring Swap Market
Where: 参Space
Click here to read more
What: Temple of Heaven by Night Walking Tour by Beijing Postcards
Where: North Gate of Temple of Heaven
Scan QR code below to buy tickets
What: Stevie Mac & the Mac Daddies Final Show
Where: Modernista
What: DDC OUT! vol. 001
Where: DDC
Scan QR code below to buy tickets
What: Macondø
Where: Omni Space
What: Axis Neptune x 失忆机器 Lost Memory Machine
Where: nugget
What: Soul Shake Queen Tribute Night
Where: Beersmith
What: MAVLAN
Where: UFO Space
Feb 26
What: Black History Month Spoken Word
Where: 4Corners
What: The Dowager and the Dynasty: A Walk and Discussion at the Summer Palace
Where: Summer Palace
What: A Crash Course to the Forbidden City
Where: Forbidden City, Donghuamen Gate, outside of TRB Forbidden City (东华门大街95号)
Scan QR code below to buy tickets
What: Sip & Paint Panda with Nadia
Where: CHEERS, Central Park Plaza
What: Songs for Türkiye
Where: DDC
What: Karaoke Quiz
Where: DesMix
READ: Sugar Cafe: A Sweet Journey from Old Camera Stylo to New Adventures
Images: courtesy of the venues, Unsplash
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yikes a doodle, Gio done gone hefted his vorpal blade, snicker snacking to the east and to the south. Let the war of words commence.Yikesah! I think Gio done gone sat his arse down on a cockleburr. That may perturb his lovemaking."The Jing"? So what does one call someone from there? A "jinger"? Sounds too much like them nasty mites called chiggers. Plus it'd swiftly morph into a woke trigger word, this being that month and all. "Jingese"? Sounds too unctuous. Like some kind of cheese product, mebbe stinky tofu put into tubes like Velveeta. "Jingites"? Sounds too much like something mineral. As in "Butt-Scratch Gulch" was founded as a boom town shortly after the Civil War by miners seeking nearby jingite lodes. "Jing-a-boo"? Sounds like another Jusse Smollet hoax. "Jingian" sounds like a food. You know, Kentucky Fried Jingian. "Jings"? Sounds like "jinx." Face it, no oe wants to be from a place called "the Jing." Might I suggest instead, "The Bei"? Then you could call your feature, 'Bei Watch."
·`Jinger' sounds like `Chigger'??! Who teached you yer scansion and a rhymin business? Ezra Kilogram, down the back alley? Mayhap in the Suzhou dialect, with a sore tongue.
The one suggests the other: short-i and -er ending. I was playing word-association, not frustrated-English-prof-who -can't-get-published-and- takes-it-out-by-savaging-naive-freshman-girls-till-they-attempt-suicide. Sadism swathed in erudition is still sadism. Like a donkey-dick in a French tickler, I still ain't gonna hold still and take it.
You however are. Sit down right there and let Dr. Gio swab your ears so you hears better. Q-tips go QAnon and if tyou wants to snivel about "aural rape," so be it. I don't give no trigger warnings till after I drop the hammer.
Hell hath no fury like a poet pissed-on.
I think that I shall never see
A poem as lovely as your 'auto de fe'*
That's what you get for dissing on me
Burnt at the stake, and hung on a tree
If suffering ain't your cup of tea
To me it is verily fromage de brie
There! Tell me about the Muses' meter and your literary vehicle's scansion.This is stone-cold ART you're reading. Better shit than Sylvia's plathitudes. It'll frost one Robert's balls, and burn the other Bob's sack. I'm homing in on Homeric, I am. Till then, the literary world just better be hölderlin' onta its hat! They say poets ain't made but born. Well born I was and got a certificate to prove it!*
(last sentence plagiarized from Saki)
(* to be pronounced like fee as in payback)
Yikesah! I think Gio done gone sat his arse down on a cockleburr. That may perturb his lovemaking."The Jing"? So what does one call someone from there? A "jinger"? Sounds too much like them nasty mites called chiggers. Plus it'd swiftly morph into a woke trigger word, this being that month and all. "Jingese"? Sounds too unctuous. Like some kind of cheese product, mebbe stinky tofu put into tubes like Velveeta. "Jingites"? Sounds too much like something mineral. As in "Butt-Scratch Gulch" was founded as a boom town shortly after the Civil War by miners seeking nearby jingite lodes. "Jing-a-boo"? Sounds like another Jusse Smollet hoax. "Jingian" sounds like a food. You know, Kentucky Fried Jingian. "Jings"? Sounds like "jinx." Face it, no oe wants to be from a place called "the Jing." Might I suggest instead, "The Bei"? Then you could call your feature, 'Bei Watch."
·`Jinger' sounds like `Chigger'??! Who teached you yer scansion and a rhymin business? Ezra Kilogram, down the back alley? Mayhap in the Suzhou dialect, with a sore tongue.
The one suggests the other: short-i and -er ending. I was playing word-association, not frustrated-English-prof-who -can't-get-published-and- takes-it-out-by-savaging-naive-freshman-girls-till-they-attempt-suicide. Sadism swathed in erudition is still sadism. Like a donkey-dick in a French tickler, I still ain't gonna hold still and take it.
You however are. Sit down right there and let Dr. Gio swab your ears so you hears better. Q-tips go QAnon and if tyou wants to snivel about "aural rape," so be it. I don't give no trigger warnings till after I drop the hammer.
"The Jing"? So what does one call someone from there? A "jinger"? Sounds too much like them nasty mites called chiggers. Plus it'd swiftly morph into a woke trigger word, this being that month and all. "Jingese"? Sounds too unctuous. Like some kind of cheese product, mebbe stinky tofu put into tubes like Velveeta. "Jingites"? Sounds too much like something mineral. As in "Butt-Scratch Gulch" was founded as a boom town shortly after the Civil War by miners seeking nearby jingite lodes. "Jing-a-boo"? Sounds like another Jusse Smollet hoax. "Jingian" sounds like a food. You know, Kentucky Fried Jingian. "Jings"? Sounds like "jinx." Face it, no oe wants to be from a place called "the Jing." Might I suggest instead, "The Bei"? Then you could call your feature, 'Bei Watch."
·`Jinger' sounds like `Chigger'??! Who teached you yer scansion and a rhymin business? Ezra Kilogram, down the back alley? Mayhap in the Suzhou dialect, with a sore tongue.
Obviously it is `jing a ling a ling jing jing' er."The Jing"? So what does one call someone from there? A "jinger"? Sounds too much like them nasty mites called chiggers. Plus it'd swiftly morph into a woke trigger word, this being that month and all. "Jingese"? Sounds too unctuous. Like some kind of cheese product, mebbe stinky tofu put into tubes like Velveeta. "Jingites"? Sounds too much like something mineral. As in "Butt-Scratch Gulch" was founded as a boom town shortly after the Civil War by miners seeking nearby jingite lodes. "Jing-a-boo"? Sounds like another Jusse Smollet hoax. "Jingian" sounds like a food. You know, Kentucky Fried Jingian. "Jings"? Sounds like "jinx." Face it, no oe wants to be from a place called "the Jing." Might I suggest instead, "The Bei"? Then you could call your feature, 'Bei Watch."