So there we was, jus me an Gin Martini, waitin for the whole kibbutz to show up, specially Mike cuz he say his Momma made a nice a lasagna for alla us. Salivatin were we both, thinkin bout Momma Serpenta's lasagna. Now jus then I noticed a big bollus of saliva collecting at corner of Gin's mouth and in a jest of humour, he had somehow stopped breathing. So slaps him hard on back and says `wake up, buddy, lest bar wench kick ya to curb' !! Ya jus bin vaccinated or is ya jus jokin around?' `Sorry' say he, `I was just practicin being dead, it's an exercise I learned in India. It requires deep concentration, and at least a liter of vodka, according to my guru.'
Finally, who is it, but Monsigneur Laffagut, sauntering spectacularly around nearby vestibule, hand held a fancy tray of pasta type foodstuffs, sans beef. Jus a sloppy mess of noodly and vaguely tomato based something. "Sorry, brethren, Mike has been waylaid and led astray down a deep dark sideways by the delicious Mary Hairy-Anne Rayce, and I alone have survived to tell the tale. Alas, I must report that Momma Serpenta has been defoiled and gone dark.
Gasps all around. `What !!? burbles Gin.
`Yes, tis true I am afraid' rejoinds the good Friar, `she has gone vegan'.
`Also', he continues, `she is rather alack and alas re: our purported gluttony, thus confides, and requests that her special `lasagna a la vego' be consummed in this particular manner.
Quizzical looks. Gin takes a deep inbreath, despoiling his wonted deathlyness.
Just then, mewlingly, came by Doug and Lucille, the catpeople, lips-lickingly proud with tails erect and expectant. `Whatcha slinky cats doin' here' snorfles Gin in a pique.
`Meow, meow' state Doug and Lucille in concordant unison.
The good Friar sets down matching sets of toenail clippers.
`I am afraid dear Ms Serpernto is concerned about your sins and requests that these, and only these, implements be used in the consumption of this, her last performance art piece: `Lasagna a la vego'.
Ravenous, Gin and I set to, toenail clippers a flashin, gorging on modicums of wheat based noodlish foodstuffs.
Luckily, just then crazy Timmy shows up, wearing a hollowed out pumpkin shell on his head, as the authorities had cautioned him about careening about without headgear. Not missing a beat, he begins exfoliating his nostril hairs with said toenail clippers, and arranging hairs in geometrical shapes. Suddenly he says `Tomorrow there will be a sea-battle, is this true or false?'
What then but Mike an Hairy Anne -Rayce come trippingly and superbly bustingly from outa the washroom, where hid they had been all the nonce.
`SURPRISE, SURPRISE' !!! they contiguously froth at curmudgeonly Gin. The whole gang is resplendant with head nodding and eye-winking, head dividing grinningness.
`Aw, shucks' redemonstrates Gin, `ya' all remembered it was the anniversary of my first expository ejaculation'. His face flushed in appreciation, and even bore a beatific mien.
Douglas and Lucille licked drippings from Momma Serpento's lasagna-ish dish, under the master's table.
The moon was waning.
So wuz it. So could be it. So shall it be perhaps.
I forgot that the oregano and basil had been admixed, ... don't wanna slag Ms. Serpento or her lasagna wiles. Rosemary too.
Daily Delivery Tour – Where to Get a Classic Italian Lasagna
Is there anyone out there who doesn’t love a good lasagna? Whether it’s the classic beef lasagna, a vegetarian lasagna or a vegan lasagna (though this doesn’t seem to have made it to Beijing yet) I truly can’t believe that anyone would not be a fan. Seriously how can you not love pasta layered with beef ragu, topped with a creamy béchamel sauce and cheese.
Now, Beijing is no Italy but it does have a pretty impressive collection of restaurants serving up this Italian classic so let’s have a look at where you can get your lasagna fix.
Mosto
Rumored among Beijing foodies to be the best lasagna in town, we have Mosto’s offering. They serve up a classic Beef Lasagna (RMB 88), topped with a béchamel sauce and parmesan crisp. For those vegetarians out there they also offer a Spinach and Kale Lasagna (RMB 78) with a parmesan sauce and pink tomato sauce.
Available to order on Meituan, JSS and Eleme, or search Mosto to find their official WeChat account to stay up to date with news.
Buona Bocca
As you’d expect from an Italian wine bar, Buona Bocca have various pasta dishes on their menu including two different types of lasagna. They have Lasagna Al Ragu (RMB 98) which combines both pork and beef mince as well as a vegetarian Pesto Lasagna (RMB 98). According to the menu both are the recipes of the mother of Buona Bocca’s owner, who hails from Bologna, one of the major culinary hubs of Italy, so they’re guaranteed to be good.
Available to order on Meituan and Eleme, or search BUONABOCCA to find their official WeChat account to stay up to date with news.
Forno
From the sister restaurant of pizzeria Bottega, Italian restaurant Forno’s Lasagna (RMB 99) consists of a slow-cooked beef ragu, mozzarella, béchamel sauce and to give a slight twist on this classic dish eggplant. If you want a little something to wash it down with, they are also offering wine by the glass.
Available to order from: Meituan Waimai, Eleme, JSS and Sherpas or search Bottega 意库 (yiku) to find their official WeChat account to stay up to date with news on all the BFB restaurants.
Fiume
Italian restaurant Fiume go big with their Six Layers Lasagna alla Bolognese (RMB 158) that uses a mixture of beef and pork mince. Although not technically lasagna, but in the same vein, they also have Spinach and Cheese Cannelloni (RMB 158) available as a good alternative for vegetarians.
Available to order from: Meituan Waimai, JSS and Sherpas or search Fiume福弥意大利餐厅 (fumiyidalicanting) to find their official WeChat account to stay up to date with news.
Gung Ho!
Although normally known more for their pizza’s Gung Ho! also have a classic Lasagna (RMB 58) available which sees layers of beef ragu topped with béchamel and cheese.
Available to order from: Meituan Waimai, JSS and Sherpas or search 叫板比萨 (jiaobanbisa) to find their official WeChat account to stay up to date with news.
CHAO Living Room
From the CHAO Hotel’s Living Room restaurant we have one for vegetarians with a Vegetarian Lasagna (RMB 95) made up of tomatoes, eggplant, pumpkin, carrot, mozzarella and a tomato sauce.
Available to order from: Meituan Waimai, JSS and Sherpas, you'll need to search for their delivery service called CHAO Kitchen or or search CHAO to find their official WeChat account to stay up to date with news.
The Rug
Normally one of Beijing’s hottest brunch spots, The Rug also has a Lasagna (RMB 99) which combines imported mozzarella, beef ragu and tomatoes.
Available to order from: Meituan Waimai and JSS or search TheRugGroup to find their official WeChat account to stay up to date with news.
La Platea
Specializing in all things Mediterranean, La Platea have a Traditional Lasagna (RMB 88) consisting of pork and beef mince, tomato sauce and cheese on their menu.
Available to order from: Meituan Waimai, Eleme, JSS and Sherpas or search La Platea兰蒂 (landi) to find their official WeChat account to stay up to date with news.
The Roots
One of many pasta dishes available at The Roots is their Traditoinal Lasagna (RMB 78), which keeps things simple and classic with a beef ragu, béchamel sauce and cheese.
Available to order from: Meituan Waimai and JSS or search The Roots西餐 (xican) to find their official WeChat account to stay up to date with news.
Annie’s
Last up on our list we have Beijing staple Annie’s and their Classic Beef Lasagna (RMB 49), now compared with some of the other lasagnas on this list it probably won’t be winning any awards, however if you’re looking for a quick beefy, cheesey fix this will get the job done. Plus you’ll get yourself a classic Annie’s bowl which is a must have for any expat home in the capital.
Available to order from: Meituan Waimai, Eleme and JSS or search 安妮意大利餐厅 (anniyidalicanting) to find their official WeChat account to stay up to date with news.
If you’re planning to eat at any of these restaurants instead of ordering be sure to check in advance whether they are open for dining in or not.
READ: How to Make a Pimm’s Cup - The Quintessential British Summer Drink
Images: Meituan Waimai, Dianping, Unsplash Karolina Kołodziejczak
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So there we was, jus me an Gin Martini, waitin for the whole kibbutz to show up, specially Mike cuz he say his Momma made a nice a lasagna for alla us. Salivatin were we both, thinkin bout Momma Serpenta's lasagna. Now jus then I noticed a big bollus of saliva collecting at corner of Gin's mouth and in a jest of humour, he had somehow stopped breathing. So slaps him hard on back and says `wake up, buddy, lest bar wench kick ya to curb' !! Ya jus bin vaccinated or is ya jus jokin around?' `Sorry' say he, `I was just practicin being dead, it's an exercise I learned in India. It requires deep concentration, and at least a liter of vodka, according to my guru.'
Finally, who is it, but Monsigneur Laffagut, sauntering spectacularly around nearby vestibule, hand held a fancy tray of pasta type foodstuffs, sans beef. Jus a sloppy mess of noodly and vaguely tomato based something. "Sorry, brethren, Mike has been waylaid and led astray down a deep dark sideways by the delicious Mary Hairy-Anne Rayce, and I alone have survived to tell the tale. Alas, I must report that Momma Serpenta has been defoiled and gone dark.
Gasps all around. `What !!? burbles Gin.
`Yes, tis true I am afraid' rejoinds the good Friar, `she has gone vegan'.
`Also', he continues, `she is rather alack and alas re: our purported gluttony, thus confides, and requests that her special `lasagna a la vego' be consummed in this particular manner.
Quizzical looks. Gin takes a deep inbreath, despoiling his wonted deathlyness.
Just then, mewlingly, came by Doug and Lucille, the catpeople, lips-lickingly proud with tails erect and expectant. `Whatcha slinky cats doin' here' snorfles Gin in a pique.
`Meow, meow' state Doug and Lucille in concordant unison.
The good Friar sets down matching sets of toenail clippers.
`I am afraid dear Ms Serpernto is concerned about your sins and requests that these, and only these, implements be used in the consumption of this, her last performance art piece: `Lasagna a la vego'.
Ravenous, Gin and I set to, toenail clippers a flashin, gorging on modicums of wheat based noodlish foodstuffs.
Luckily, just then crazy Timmy shows up, wearing a hollowed out pumpkin shell on his head, as the authorities had cautioned him about careening about without headgear. Not missing a beat, he begins exfoliating his nostril hairs with said toenail clippers, and arranging hairs in geometrical shapes. Suddenly he says `Tomorrow there will be a sea-battle, is this true or false?'
What then but Mike an Hairy Anne -Rayce come trippingly and superbly bustingly from outa the washroom, where hid they had been all the nonce.
`SURPRISE, SURPRISE' !!! they contiguously froth at curmudgeonly Gin. The whole gang is resplendant with head nodding and eye-winking, head dividing grinningness.
`Aw, shucks' redemonstrates Gin, `ya' all remembered it was the anniversary of my first expository ejaculation'. His face flushed in appreciation, and even bore a beatific mien.
Douglas and Lucille licked drippings from Momma Serpento's lasagna-ish dish, under the master's table.
The moon was waning.
So wuz it. So could be it. So shall it be perhaps.