Throwback Thursday: Goodbye Donald Edition

Joey Knotts, Contributing Editor | Nov 12, 2020 2:30 pm | 3 comments | 281 reads

Though you might not know it from certain political WeChat groups in which partisans cling desperately to an alternate reality, the US election is pretty much wrapped up at this point. So, while the race was too close to call last Thursday, this week we’re ready to say “Bye Don,” with a look back at the Beijinger’s Trump coverage over the past four years before we finally never have to think about orange face and tiny white hands again.

The Trumplings

It’s often said that the media’s excessive coverage of Trump may have launched him into victory, and we too may have been guilty of that. In February of 2016, as the MAGA campaign was making inroads, we drew attention to a still extant website, Trumplings.com, which, without explanation, fitted animated trump faces onto Chinese dumplings and allowed visitors to toss them around. Need seasoning with that? Feel free to top the dumplings liberally (or conservatively) with Sarah Palin heads, for some reason.

It’s clear from the blog that managing editor Margaux Schreurs was not a fan of the candidate, but time has proven that no publicity is bad publicity for the Donald. Perhaps history would tell a different story had Hillary Clinton’s head been photoshopped onto an interactive jianbing stall.

The watch parties

Perhaps it was COVID, or maybe general fear of reliving 2016 disappointment, but only a couple of bars held election result watch parties this year, in contrast to the previous election when it seemed like every pub from Sanlitun to Xicheng was packed with foreigners, eyes glued to TVs as the map turned red.

Personally, I watched at Ron Mexico (now Side Street), but the Beijinger’s Kyle Mullin stopped by The Local and the Bookworm to gauge the atmosphere. He found Americans, non-American foreigners, and a few curious Chinese viewers, most of whom expressed disappointment as things turned sour for the Clinton campaign. Not everyone was upset, however, as Mullin was able to speak with Trump supporter and long-time Beijing-based American Leora Pearlman, who found herself “shocked but elated;” a happy camper in the middle of a campground for sad faces.

This year, the Local held another watch party, one of only two bars in the city to do so. The crowd again leaned blue, and, like anywhere in the world, watched the news come in with cautious optimism, and even a foreboding uncertainty for most of the party, which only gave way to sighs of relief toward late afternoon. Still, visitors left the pub without full closure, which only came in the following days.

Trump’s Mandarin-speaking granddaughter

Did you know that Donald’s favorite daughter’s daughter can speak Chinese?

As we sank into accepting his victory, Schreurs again took to the blog, this time to find solace in the promising young Arabella Kushner, daughter of Ivanka Trump and Jared Kushner who had picked up some Mandarin from her nanny. At that time, Arabella was just four years old, but she quickly became a star on Tik-Tok as she wished everyone a happy Chinese new year in Chinese.

Of course, as we now know, Donald doesn’t like to be upstaged, and we reckon this just might have been the first seeds of his ambitions to ban the app.

The stars aligned, albeit momentarily

Next came inauguration day – Nov 20, 2017 – when Andrew Killeen, writing for our sister site, beijingkids, consulted Chinese astrologer Master Tsai to find out what fate had in store for the newly installed president. And to be honest, in retrospect, Master Tsai's readings were pretty spot on.

First, we begin with Trump's birth chart, which Master Tsai called "very special," adding, "His Five Elements are extremely out of balance. His chart has too much Fire and Earth, with almost no Water or Metal." Whether it was a ramp with a moderate incline or a pesky glass of water, Trump proved himself to be fairly off balance over the last four years. To be fair, though, at 74 years old, a little trouble walking down a ramp isn't entirely surprising.

Moving right along, Master Tsai explained that "Since water is the unlucky element to him, women can bring him trouble." Setting aside another 'glass of water gives Trump problems' reference for a moment, in more ways than one this astrological analysis rings all too true. It could be a reference to a flood of sexual assault allegations over the years or a certain scandal of Stormy proportions, or simply that time he fought with an umbrella and lost. Either way, water certainly hasn't been kind to Donald Trump.

Lastly, while Master Tsai saw more good fortune for Trump through 2018, by 2020, his luck – and more specifically, finances – were expected to run out, with Tsai bluntly stating, "He will have money management issues." If it pleases the court, Master Tsai would like to enter into the record receipts for USD 800 million hemorrhaged by the Trump Campaign between 2019 and Sep 2020, as well as testimony from the debt collectors who will come knocking on Trump's door after he leaves 1600 Pennsylvania Ave., to the tune of USD 1 billion.

And with that, we rest Master Tsai's case.

The WORST valedictorian in the history of education

The following year, senior blogger Charles Liu brought us the story of American student Cody Abbey, who received a round ovation and hardy laughter at Yenching Academy for his valedictorian speech in fluent Mandarin in which he not only praised China but poked fun at President Trump with a joke comparing his border wall to The Great Wall, which, as we all remember, was rib-breakingly hilarious at the time.

We can’t confirm, but we’d also like to imagine that Abbey also performed a spot-on impression of the president trying to pronounce “China.”

Merry Impeachment

Besides covering a rather unremarkable visit from the president in which he did little more of note besides eat chocolate cake, we have largely avoided discussing him since. The one exception was last year when impeachment proceedings were underway, which just happened to coincide with Christmas time. As such, we offered handy gift ideas to celebrate, from Trump toilet paper to cat toys.