Why I'm Leaving China

George Ding | Oct 8, 2012 10:00 am | 22 comments | 24651 reads

First of all, you won’t believe the deal I got on airline tickets. Seriously, someone at Ctrip must have left off a zero because I’ve paid more for foot massage. Even so, I’m sad to be leaving China. It’s been a great five years but it’s time to move on.

To many of you, this may come as a surprise. You’re wondering, why would someone so young and talented leave at the top of his game? Who will take over as dungeon master at our D&D nights? Are you really going to leave without paying the rest of your rent?

I’m afraid I can’t offer a satisfactory answer to all of your questions. Suffice it to say that, for me, China has changed. And no, I’m not going to pay the rest of my rent.

Let me start at the beginning. Like many others, I originally came to China in search of job opportunities. I was drawn by promises that even an abject loser with no measurable talent could make it in this country. But now I’ve come to realize that this so-called “China Dream” is just that: a dream.

Five years ago, I had no marketable skills and even less ambition so China seemed like the perfect place to coast by on my foreignness and rugged good looks. But the job market has changed so much that even the lowest standard of what employers are willing to accept has risen beyond my reach. Schools now demand a teacher that won’t hit on students (a right I’m not willing to waive) and companies are looking someone who will show up on time and keep their pants on, even in the summer.

What’s more, the people have changed as well. Five years ago, the friends I made were just like me – drunken reprobates who couldn’t give a shit what country they were in so long as the beer and women were cheap and went down easy.

I wish we could have stayed like that forever but, alas, time goes on. Those same friends who used to give street sweepers something to clean up after a night at Propaganda now have “rewarding careers” or are in “committed relationships.” Some have given up on life completely and have gotten married. Not me, though. I’ve kept it real this whole time.

But there are deeper reasons as to why I’m leaving. One is that it’s so hard to communicate with Chinese people; their English is really bad. It’s hard for them to understand me, especially when I’m yelling in their face about how I asked for ice water, not room temperature water. And my boss never knows what I’m saying, even when I’m saying it really, really slowly. It’s almost enough to make me want to learn Chinese.

Another issue is that Chinese people are very exclusive. After five years here, I’ve come to see that I’ll never be Chinese, no matter how many funny hats I wear. Chinese people will always be dismissive of my ideas just because I’m a foreigner.

“Mongols and Manchus are not the same,” they tell me. Or they try to convince me that ninjas didn’t exist in the Tang Dynasty. They just can’t accept that a foreigner has figured out their culture.

So that’s why I’m hanging up my hat, packing my bags, calling it quits. China’s been a fun ride but it’s time to get off.

I’m staying positive, though. I see this as a new beginning. I’m going to find a job back home that can fully utilize my China knowledge and insight.

Some of you may laugh at me. You’ll say good riddance because I never contributed anything of lasting value to China but you’re wrong. So many Chinese people have told me, “Thanks to you, we’ll never see foreigners the same way again.”

This article originally appeared on page 88 of the October 2012 issue of the Beijinger.

Click here to see the October issue of the Beijinger in full.

Photo: invensis.net

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tink's picture tink Submitted by Guest on Wed, 01/02/2013 - 04:25

bottle-o wrote:

It's xenophobic when the overseas born Chinese I know go around shitting on "mainlanders" and making sure everyone knows that they are NOT one of them.

bottle-o wrote:

It makes me sad ... when my ABC/CBC friends talk shit about China and Chinese people. That is xenophobic.

Why is it different when non-ABC Americans do it? Why is it okay then?

Identity doesn't come from your skin color or your birthplace (tons of white/black/brown people are born within Chinese borders - do they make you sad too when they shit on China?). Identity comes from your beliefs, which then dictates your lifestyle and actions. Once you strip an ABC of their skin and hair color down to their beliefs, are they more alike their fellow Americans or the average Chinese person? Because if it is the former, why should skin color and birthplace divide ABCs and other Americans into two groups?

But few understands this - certainly not the locals and apparently not the foreigners either. I think that's why ABCs make a more distinct effort "to make sure everyone knows they are not locals".

Ballzdeep's picture Ballzdeep Submitted by Guest on Mon, 12/10/2012 - 11:58

This is NOT SATIRE> I have this lazy bums bookcase and I am not giving it back for 40 bucks dude. Gonna have to do a bit better than that ...

on a sidenote, you ever serve hard time george?

merri0's picture merri0 Submitted by Guest on Mon, 10/22/2012 - 19:49

Quote:
No. Sorry Mr Ding. You were born in China to Chinese parents, you are Chinese with US citizenship.
Quote:
When did I say anyone is not American?

...I might have been reading that bit. Then I also read this bit:

Quote:
I have lived for more years in China than I have in my home country, I am still Laowai, I will always be laowai, my skin is still white and people still stare at me every day.

...and saw that you were trying to extrapolate your experience based on skin color to George's identification as culturally American, albeit ethnically Chinese:

Quote:
why are overseas (born or raised) Chinese so quick to separate themselves from their people and identify as a "foreigner"? That, to me, is racist.

The problem is that these are two different things. George may be quite proud of being ethnically Chinese. That does not make him less American (if he so identifies that way). It also does not make him or any OTHER ABC/CBC who identifies as American/Canadian racist. A number of my ABC/CBC friends build their own groups around the shared experience of being part of the larger Chinese diaspora but not of China. You've also ignored the fact that ethnically Chinese aren't all alike. Which part of China are these people supposed to identify with? The north? south? Hong Kong or Taiwan? China is not a cultural monolith, shockingly.

In short, the way that you wrote this makes the argument that anyone with parents, grandparents, or hell, great grandparents from China (where's your cut off?) should identify with local Chinese. The implication is that cultural ties should be stronger with China than, say, their country of birth or upbringing because "they are Chinese with US citizenship" even if the LATTER was a choice and the former merely incidental. That might just make an immigrant even more American, as that person chose America over having no choice but to be birthed there.

vmomo's picture vmomo Submitted by Guest on Fri, 10/19/2012 - 10:53

It's incredibly patronising to say you find other people's ways of self-identitifying "sad" - you call yourself what you want and mind your own business, best way to side step any post-colonial helpful white man telling the ethnics how best to live syndrome.

bottle-o's picture bottle-o Submitted by Guest on Tue, 10/16/2012 - 19:44

When did I say anyone is not American? I said not a foreigner to China. If you are born here and your parents are Chinese why be so quick to distance yourself from your home country? Why go about calling yourself a "laowai" in the country where you and your parents and your grandparents were born?

I was not making anything up. George Ding is a Chinese man (Chinese being an enthicity) with US citizenship. How is that in any way xenophobic? It's xenophobic when the overseas born Chinese I know go around shitting on "mainlanders" and making sure everyone knows that they are NOT one of them. It's weird to me, why not be proud to be Chinese? Represent.

How long do I have to live here before I can call myself Chinese? Or do I have to forget how to speak English first? Because I know Chinese people who have lived overseas for much less time than I have been here who call themselves Australian or Canadian.

It makes me sad for my Chinese friends who were born and raised here and who are smart and proud to be Chinese, who have the mindset to self-educate and become worldly and informed without ever having been abroad when my ABC/CBC friends talk shit about China and Chinese people. That is xenophobic.

britomart's picture britomart Submitted by Guest on Tue, 10/16/2012 - 18:59

Oh my.

Oh. My.

I'm seriously embarrassed by the Beijing expat community's inability to recognize satire.

And now by its insistence on taking the comments on a satirical blog post in such a tangential direction.

Doubt wisely; in strange way / To stand inquiring right is not to stray; / To sleep, or run wrong, is. (Donne, Satire III)

merri0's picture merri0 Submitted by Guest on Tue, 10/16/2012 - 16:31

Whoa, Bottle-o. Disagree strongly. My father was born to two Chinese parents in China but immigrated young, doesn't speak a lick of Chinese, and considers himself American (I do believe he'd be insulted if you called him anything BUT American).

But even IF he immigrated older and spoken Chinese fluently, how does that make him less American? How is George any less American?

I know this wasn't likely your intention, but you come off seriously xenophobic in your post.

bottle-o's picture bottle-o Submitted by Guest on Tue, 10/16/2012 - 12:13

LOL to all the people who thought this article was serious... wow.

An "outsider" maybe but a "foreigner"? No. Sorry Mr Ding. You were born in China to Chinese parents, you are Chinese with US citizenship. I have lived for more years in China than I have in my home country, I am still Laowai, I will always be laowai, my skin is still white and people still stare at me every day. I will never be Chinese and wouldn't want to be, not because Chinese is an inferior race but because I am proud of where I come from. Why are overseas (born or raised) Chinese so quick to separate themselves from their people and identify as a "foreigner"? That, to me, is racist.

Jerry's picture Jerry Submitted by Guest on Mon, 10/15/2012 - 17:20

Quote:
I would never classify you as a foreigner in china anyway, so stop giving it large about you being an outsider. If a dog is born in a stable it does not make it a horse.

That's some spurious (and not so subtly racist) logic there - so because George was born in China but raised and educated in America (and has US citizenship), this disqualifies him as (as you put it) an "outsider"?

Jerry Chan, Digital Marketing & Content Strategy Director

Eng1's picture Eng1 Submitted by Guest on Sun, 10/14/2012 - 22:41

I would never classify you as a foreigner in china anyway, so stop giving it large about you being an outsider. If a dog is born in a stable it does not make it a horse.

georgeding's picture georgeding Submitted by Guest on Thu, 10/11/2012 - 01:14

I should clear this up. I am not leaving China. This column is a parody of the recent "Why I'm Leaving China" articles. I don't think ninjas existed in the Tang Dynasty; I don't yell at waitresses for ice water; and I am fluent in Mandarin.

@panjialang - Thank you for recognizing this for what it is.

fatboy's picture fatboy Submitted by Guest on Wed, 10/10/2012 - 19:11

This blog appears to be a satire of one or more recent "Why I'm Leaving China" articles. The problem is, whether people get the satirical angle or not, it promotes the negative stereotype of foreign men as depraved and stupid. I can't see how this website can post a blog like this after previously reporting on local incidents of abuse of foreigners. I assume this is an oversight and I kindly ask that the editor of this site carefully consider the ramifications of such writings.

waixingren's picture waixingren Submitted by Guest on Tue, 10/09/2012 - 17:36

You MUST be kidding about the teaching standards becoming too lofty. I have had Russian colleagues who sounded much worse than my Chinese colleagues teaching their unique brand of "English". My only fear is losing the 'shuai' and thus losing the only necessary qualification.

五毛 described by Chinese President Hu Jintao as "a new pattern of public-opinion guidance"

2012.beijinger's picture 2012.beijinger Submitted by Guest on Mon, 10/08/2012 - 11:35

I have been living in China for 6years now, and I am gonna leave this country in less than 3 weeks. Difficult to express my exact feelings toward my departure, since I have grown love and hate relationship with China, especially Beijing.

"Another issue is that Chinese people are very exclusive. After five years here, I’ve come to see that I’ll never be Chinese, no matter how many funny hats I wear. Chinese people will always be dismissive of my ideas just because I’m a foreigner." ---> Don't even try. I am practically Chinese (since I am Chinese descendants with thick Chinese culture in my family), speaks fluent Chinese, yet my boss and colleagues who are local Chinese treats me differently because for them, I'll never be Chinese.

Good luck for your new journey. I will miss reading your articles.

Alex1981's picture Alex1981 Submitted by Guest on Mon, 10/08/2012 - 11:18

haha! "It’s hard for them to understand me, especially when I’m yelling in their face about how I asked for ice water, not room temperature water."

TommyUK123's picture TommyUK123 Submitted by Guest on Mon, 10/08/2012 - 10:15

I know how you feel about the frustrating nature of China. I've been here nearly 8 years now, and I too am planning on leaving very soon. From 2005 to 2009, I really felt I made incredible progress in my own development. Things during that time were so awesome for me here. But since 2011, I have accomplished absolutely nothing. It's been a year of utter stagnation. I go to work mon-fri, get wasted at the weekends, and then do it over and over again. I've wasted countless thousands on pointless endeavours, and all I have to show for it is probably 1,000 less words in my Chinese vocabulary because I'm hanging out with expats too much and speaking English all the time, haha. It's good to get out, get home and re-assess things. It will give us time to get to grips with what we really want to do with our lives.
And as for people not understanding you - Chinese language doesn't help. They just plain refuse to accept anything that foreigners think, as you point out. It doesn't matter how much you experience and explain back to them - even a know-nothing 19-year-old will dismiss you as "just a foreigner". Good luck to you in your future travels and experiences!

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