What's the Worst Meal You've Eaten in Beijing?

Josh Ong | Apr 6, 2012 4:00 pm | 12 comments | 3187 reads

We spend most of our time scouring the city to find you the best meals in Beijing, but we're also curious about the other end of the spectrum. What's the absolute worst meal you've ever eaten in Beijing?

Just last month we celebrated the tireless work that the restaurant industry has put in to feed this city over the past year. Given how often us expats eat out, we certainly owe them a huge debt of gratitude.

But there's another side to eating out here. I suspect that many Beijingers have stories fit for spooky campfire retellings. So that's where you come in. Will you take the time to tell us in the comments below about a dining experience you've had that stuck out to you as the hands-down worst meal you've had in Beijing. What did it taste like? What was the service like? Did anything exciting happen when your body tried to digest the food? Give us the juicy details.

Unquenchable curiosity is one of my greatest strengths and weaknesses. In this case, I'm inclined to believe that it's a liability. After I've read over your stories, I'll set out to reenact one of them. Assuming I live to tell the tale, I'm sure you'll hear all about it here.

To kick things off, here's my worst Beijing meal story. (It's actually disappointingly tame, so I'm counting all of you to show me up):

It was the summer of 2008. I had just arrived in Beijing and had managed to secure seasonal work as an English teacher for a summer camp at a decommissioned military base in Changping. I spent 13 hours a day in class with no curriculum and no books. Let's just say we played a lot of Hangman.

The camp was minutes from civilization, so most of the students and teachers had no choice but to eat at the canteen, though the rich kids would usually wise up and start cabbing to a McDonald's or KFC a few days into each camp session.

Meals there were usually awful, but on one particular day, my plate came back with an unrecognizable slop. An mishmash of ingredients had been cooked down to an semi-gelatinous texture with a smell that made me think of vegetables rotting in the corner of a locker room shower. After several failed attempts to use my rudimentary Chinese to find out what the dish was, I gave in to the hungry rumblings of my stomach and cautiously ate a few bites. The taste was ghastly, a trio of bitter, sour and MSG.

Within minutes, my stomach had stopped making sounds from hunger and was burbling in protest. I left most of the dish on the table and headed back to the classroom with a growing sense of disquiet. The next "class" was easily some of the longest three hours of my life, as I hovered over a trough in the dark.

So that's the worst meal I've had in Beijing. What's yours?

Photo: Nutrition by Eve

Comments

New comments are displayed first.

Comments

KitchensFamily's picture KitchensFamily Submitted by Guest on Sun, 04/22/2012 - 19:46

We had heard much hipe about Nola, so my family and I finally made a trip to try the food on an early saturday evening. We are from south Arkansas, so several of the items on the menu looked appealing to us. We ordered 'chicken and dumplings', 'shrimp and grits', 'bacon mac and cheese' and 'deviled eggs'. Although I am sure there are several items on the menu that are worth writing home about, only one of these things brought back the feelings of home. The 'bacon mac and cheese' was very good, but the other items were no where close to what they should be. The 'chicken and dumplings' did have chicken, but the dumplings (made from very simple ingredients that can be found locally) were missing and replaced with carrots. The 'shrimp and grits' was made with shrimp and corn meal made into a mush (not grits) which reminded me more of uncooked cornbread batter. Finally, the 'deviled eggs' made with apple vinegar did have a smooth creamy yolk filling, but was so far off the taste of what we were used to back home, they only served to remind us of never ordering that again. Over all, our family experience at Nola left us 308 RMB poorer. The good news was that we had lost our appetites for the evening.

Revoked's picture Revoked Submitted by Guest on Thu, 04/12/2012 - 15:34

Sad to say I agree with the comment on the Vineyard. Been going there for two years now. However, was so disappointed with brunch last Sunday doubt will go back. A Korean friend was visiting and there are no British restaurants in Seoul so thought it might be fun to go to one in Beijing. Ordered the individual selection English breakfast, a burger and coffee. The coffee came quickly, but the coffee beans seem to have changed since the last time. This time the coffee was more like that you find in provincial hotels and not so hot either. Next a ceasar salad suddenly turned up. Said to the waiter we didn't order it. He told us we did. We again said no and he finally took it away, before bringing it back five minutes later looking really annoyed. He plonked it on the table without saying a word and stalked off. I took it to the counter and said again we didn't order it. They checked and agreed.

The burger came. My friend gave no comment. When the English breakfast came it looked really good. However, the hot buttered toast looked like it had never seen butter and was certainly not hot. I asked for butter. The sausages were not hot, but ok. Although the baked beans must have been reheated many times (rusty coloured, skin broken, with sandy like interior). Sadly not even comparable with school dinners. The sauteed potatoes were plastic on the outside, dry in the middle. I gave up and decided just to eat the toast and marmalade once the butter came.

Ten minutes later when i saw the waitress was stood happily gossiping at the bar I realised she must have forgotten and I asked again. She gasped when she remembered, disappeared, but still nothing. Finally went up and asked again and was given butter.

The toast however, was by now freezing so I asked for fresh toast. They agreed, but looked surprised. This time the toast came covered in parsley. I asked them to please just bring hot toast. A waitress then came over apologised and said they would replace everything as it was their fault. I was reluctant since the my friend's burger probably wasn't in a good state (reading the comment above I dread to think, although he never said anything). However, the lady insisted and said it would be very quick. They were quick and it was hot this time. But presumably straight from a microwave as the potatoes still were not crispy and the beans still sandy inside with bits of skin floating in the sauce.

Although i did have hot toast and marmalade in the end. The worst is that someone eating an English breakfast for the first time might leave with the impression that this is what they are meant to be like...

admin's picture admin Submitted by Guest on Wed, 04/11/2012 - 13:19

If pressed I'd have to admit the most revolting thing I've eaten is a starfish on a stick at the Wangfujing Night Market. It tasted just as expected: like a slightly smelly, salty exo-skeleton.

Books by current and former Beijinger staffers

http://astore.amazon.com/truerunmedia-20

tomomalley's picture tomomalley Submitted by Guest on Mon, 04/09/2012 - 16:48

There is / was a restaurant on the Qinghua campus called something like Qing Chicken - a full copy of McDonald's - the same fast food packaging and colours but minus the Golden Arches logo, with copies of Big Mac, nuggets and fries. Problem was the clear lack of McDonald's multi-billion dollar flavor engineering, meaniing everything tasted wierdly, horribly plain and exposed for the crap it is / was.

Click here and your wildest dreams will come true.

electricpig's picture electricpig Submitted by Guest on Mon, 04/09/2012 - 16:45

Sad to say the Vineyard Cafe a few nights ago. Of the 7 or 8 soups on offer on the menu, only one was available ... found this out after my friend ordered one of the ones not available, then tried to order another.

Then, a while later, the waiter comes to say my friend's main meal was not available, so he chose another.

Guess what? A few minutes later, and that was not available either, so he chose a burger which when it came was undercooked and "soggy" and he only ate half of it.

In the meantime, my veggie main course had been declared unavailable, and as no other veggie options were available (getting the picture?) I chose the lasagne which arrived at the table before I'd finished my soup ... which I slurped up super fast in order to avoid said lasagne going cold.

At nearly 300rmb it was, frankly, crap and I will never go back. At least the staff had the decency to look slightly embarrassed.

Sida's picture Sida Submitted by Guest on Mon, 04/09/2012 - 15:05

From restaurants in Beijing: Food poisoning (twice), ripped off / hidden fees (25rmb for tap water), and yelled at for not leaving a tip.
Street vendors: None of the above. In fact, I try to give street vendors my extra mao, and they wholeheartedly refuse to accept it.
Maybe I'll just eat jianbing for the rest of forever....

admin's picture admin Submitted by Guest on Mon, 04/09/2012 - 14:51

There's lots of kinds of 'worst':

1. Poorly prepared food;
2. Filthy environment;
3. Rotten service;
4. Disappointing value for money;
5. Revolting selection on menu ....

Books by current and former Beijinger staffers

http://astore.amazon.com/truerunmedia-20

elsong1211's picture elsong1211 Submitted by Guest on Sun, 04/08/2012 - 23:37

My worst meal in Beijing is actually from a recent visit to the Hello Kitty Cafe in sanlitun. The food was really cutely shaped, but tasted SOOOOOOO disguesting! like it was not made to eat, just pretty as toys. The curry rice in the shape of HK's face tasted so artificial and made me doubt whether its was edible. Cute room deco, service was okay, passable. Won't be returning though.

Validate your mobile phone number to post comments.