Does Beijing Make You Mental?

Adapting to a new culture puts us expats under quite a bit of strain, which begs the question: Are we less mentally stable than our friends and family back “home”? Dr. Sean Truman, director of a practice that provides psychological counseling to Western expats all over the world, probes this possibility and more below.

What types of problems frequently accompany the “expat experience”?
Anxiety, depression, substance abuse and, to a large degree – especially for men – marital infidelity. That’s actually become a really serious issue in Asia, due to accessibility and social acceptance of prostitution. People are traveling a huge amount, there is a lot of stress, a lot of alcohol – those are the conditions in which people will cheat, which of course affects family function.

What conditions breed such behavior in the first place?
When people move frequently, which happens a lot in expat populations, they lack the same support network. Also, they are preoccupied with readjustment – they must carve out a brand new life, find a new place to live, enroll their kids in new schools, make new friendships, on top of all the regular life concerns. They simply don’t have the same mechanisms around (i.e. siblings, parents, friends from way back) to keep them in check.

How do such conditions affect the younger expat population?
When you’re in your early 20’s, there is so much more uncertainty associated with what you are going to do or be. If you don’t have a love in your life, you’re more than likely thinking about finding one. Say you meet someone from Argentina – how are you going to make that work? It’s one thing to say you’re going to live in Beijing temporarily and brush up on your language skills; it’s another to ask, am I going to live chronically overseas?

The decision is complicated by the fact that being abroad might be fun as hell. It’s so engaging and dynamic that it can be hard to find the pieces to make life stable. There are very few rules. You can go wild back in your home country, but in Beijing you can go even further because the social norms don’t apply to you in the same way. And if you’re not well-controlled, it can really start to unravel on you.

Some people thrive well on that uncertainty and can find a way to organize themselves professionally and socially, but for most, that’s a very challenging thing to do.

What is the worst case you’ve ever encountered?
I can’t talk about specific cases, but I’ve seen domestic violence, significant alcohol problems and severe suicidality. That’s where it gets dark – and it usually doesn’t verge that far. People typically experience much more moderate and controlled problems of anxiety and depression.

You work with expats all over the world – where do expats have it worst?
I once knew an American woman in Shanghai who was too terrified to ever leave her house. In some ways, her experience was just as isolating as that of expats living in the remote oil fields in the Middle East. If you perceive [your location] as frightening, then it doesn’t really matter where you are.

How have expat problems changed over time?
Now there are so many ways to stay connected to home that people aren’t fully committing to the life where they are. So what they do is hedge – they use the phone, Skype and email a lot. It is natural to want to maintain the ties you had to your last home. But if you go too far, you can potentially limit your development in a new place.

What is a healthy mindset for expats to adopt?
Engage as much as you can. That either means connecting to the local people and the culture, or even just living among expats. You run into trouble only when you withdraw from the outside world. Find ways to link up with the community through clubs, schools or interests – those are the most effective ways at easing your transition and establishing a connection.

The Truman Group advises expats to seek help for any concerns on cultural displacement, dislocation from family, isolation and stress. All sessions are conducted over the telephone or Skype. Visit www.truman-group.com for more information.

Photos: The Truman Group, cdn.moxiebird.com