BJ Pizza Wars III: The Den v Pizza Buona

Today’s Pizza Wars is coming at you from a tropical beach on Hawaii. Yes, the Aloha State. The far-flung archipelago that has gifted the world such enduring cultural treasures as Michael Bay’s Pearl Harbor, the word ‘gnarly’, the coconut bra, and, most importantly of course, the Hawaiian pizza. Ok, that’s not really true. (It was invented by a Canadian, according to Wikipedia). But few double acts say ‘totally tropical’ quite like the union of pineapple with ham. In fact, The Den rates it so highly their Hawaiian is simply named ‘The Den Pizza’. And Hawaiian is the third listing on Pizza Buona’s menu, right under Margarita and Napoli. But … WHICH IS BEST? Let’s find out!

In the red corner: The Den Pizza, The Den (RMB 60)

Style Neapolitan style, very thin base with a lazy scattering of toppings. It’s a bar pizza through and through – oily, salty, crisp and piping hot. Looking at it you just know it’s going to marry well with a nice cold beer.

Crust Charred at the edges, puffy and brittle, with a bit of leopard spotting. Huzzah! This pizza has seen some proper heat. Less good - the underside has the texture of a sheet of stiff cardboard.

Cheese 'n sauce Oodles of very mild, elastic cheese that does the stringy dance when you tug a piece away from the whole. Sauce a bit sharp but not overbearing.

Toppings Shreds of forgettable, ‘Hormel’ tasting ham. This might be a very clever toque-tip to the fact that Hawaiians are the world’s largest consumers of Spam, also produced by Hormel. Or it could be a budgetary choice. I’m erring towards the latter. Nice chunks of sweet, juicy pineapple, and a dusting of dried herbs.

Satisfaction? Yes! Oily, salty and satisfying, especially after a few bottles of Tiger. Ratios are good; a wee bit small but cheap enough to get two in if you’re here between 5-10pm daily (all pizzas half price). My dining companion tells me The Den’s pizzas have shrunk by about 50 percent since 2005. I say maybe it’s her that’s got bigger.

Morning after Not likely to happen because you’ll chow it all before you leave. We did.

Next up...

In the blue corner: Hawaiian, Pizza Buona, RMB 65 (10 inch)

Style Asian style Chicago wannabe. Reminds me of a theatre poster I once saw in Tokyo advertising a production of Annie the Musical. Hovering next to Daddy Warbucks was a Japanese actor playing the conman / hoodlum character called Rooster. A bit jarring.

Crust Deep (ish) and doughy, with a processed symmetry and fast food sweetness. As our pizza cooled, the curled edge of the crust seemed to harden into biscuit. Strangest thing was - not all that bad.

Cheese n sauce Cheese has a cheddar-y tang, sauce almost unnoticeable. Passable.

Toppings Miserly. Just a few anemic chunks of pineapple and several squares of thinly sliced ham, both contributing little to the total flavor / satisfaction profile.

Satisfaction? It’s big and cheesy enough to do a job. Delivery was fast and fuss-free, all the way out to Gulou. Price is about fair. Can see why they’re still around after all this time - they run a tight ship. But taste wise, very rudimentary. Hangover fuel at best.

Morning after Like eating a salty leather glove wrapped around a rusk.

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The Hawaiian is one of those pizza toppings you either love or hate. I happen to like it just a bit, which flies in the face of that theory. On a successful Hawaiian, the crust / cheese / ham / sauce should be savory and salty enough to balance the sweetness of the pineapple. The Den passed; Pizza Buona didn’t. Throw in The Den’s daily pizza happy hour(s), and the fact that they put a bottle of Tabasco on your table unasked, and it’s no contest.

Verdict? Like, The Den totally rules, dude.

Stay tuned for the next installment of BJ Pizza Wars, coming Monday! In the mean time, revisit the first two battles here:

Episode II: Eatalia v Pyro Pizza
Episode I: Hutong Pizza v Pass-by Bar

For a full list of matchups, head here: http://www.thebeijinger.com/blog/BJ-Pizza-Wars. Each Monday at 2 Tom O'Malley takes a look at two Beijing pizza joints while Thursdays at 2 Susan Sheng pits pie vs pie.