The Insider’s Guide to Burning Your iPhone

It’s spring, and people are burning things on sidewalks again: cars, money ... you know, the usual. This Tomb Sweeping Day tradition stems from the belief that whatever you burn in paper form (aka joss) will be beamed to the afterlife as gifts for ancestors.

In recent years, iPhones and iPads have become a favorite gift for grannies in the otherworld. This year, paper iPhone 5s are proving just as popular (despite Tim Cook’s recent apology). On April Fool’s Day, one Chinese electrics company even fooled the masses into visiting their website for a promise of free iPhone 5s. It turns out the free smartphones were all designed for the journey to the afterlife – 100% paper, matches not included.

Want to celebrate Tomb Sweeping Day authentically? Here's our short guide to everything you need to know to burn an iPhone for your ancestors:

Where to Buy?
Taobao, duh. Or check out your local wet market. You may even find joss vendors on street corners.

When to Burn?
10am to 4pm, during the seven-day period centering on April 4, Tomb Sweeping Day (i.e. three days before and three days after).

Where to Burn?
Outside, on the sidewalk, in hutongs, or in alleys. The ritual must be performed at an intersection so the joss doesn’t get lost in another dimension.

How to Burn?
Put your paper phone and any other gifts in a pile. Draw a circle around your pile with chalk to ensure correct delivery. Set the pile on fire. Don’t let the fire spread. Think happily on how good your ancestors are getting at Angry Birds.

What other paper things do you think people should people be burning for their ancestors? Our vote is on a dollhouse-sized Apple Store.

For more on smartphones and the afterlife, check this out.

Photo: The Guardian