Ten Signs You've Been in Beijing For Too Long

Louise Lai | Nov 18, 2013 9:00 am | 13 comments | 13310 reads

Can you remember China before Starbucks? If so, you've probably been here too long. Keep reading for ten more signs that you may be on the verge of becoming part of the furniture.

1. You eat family style at all restaurants, Chinese or not.

2. You think narrowly avoiding death ten times on your bicycle to work is normal.

3. Last time you visited your mother, you gave her your business card.

4. You ask your fellow foreigners the all-important question "How long have you been in Beijing?" in order to categorize them.

5. You consider eating at McDonald's a status symbol.

6. The thought of entering your house with shoes on mortifies you.

7. You are not surprised to wake up in the morning and find that the woman who stayed over last night has completely cleaned your apartment.

8. Someone doesn't stare at you, and you wonder why.

9. You hear someone say "lao wai" and look around not realizing that they are talking about you.

10. You get used to having a before-, during-, and after-dinner cigarette.

What did we miss? Tell us in the comments.

[Inspired by the longer, original lists posted by Beijing Made Easy and Lost Laowai]

Photos: Joshua Shinavier on Flicrk, yumsugar.com, theheartthrills.wordpress.com, flickr.com/photos/b-love/8553240895/, english.peopledaily.com.cn, blog.jaspatrick.com, sodahead.com, womenofchina.cn, memeguy.com, photocase.com, mrwgifs.com

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britomart's picture britomart Submitted by Guest on Mon, 11/18/2013 - 16:04

Oh, and guilty of numbers 1, 2, 4 and 6.

And all of admin's, except for the vomiting/urinating/expectorating in public.

And you also know you've been here too long when you can carry on a 10-min conversation with a Beijing taxi driver almost entirely in grunts.

Doubt wisely; in strange way / To stand inquiring right is not to stray; / To sleep, or run wrong, is. (Donne, Satire III)

britomart's picture britomart Submitted by Guest on Mon, 11/18/2013 - 15:51

Yeah, I guess it was mainly #7... I can't imagine many "foreign" gals bringing a Chinese guy home for the night--ok, so that happens--but what I really can't see is random Chinese guy then getting up and cleaning the place by the time Lovely Foreign Flower has awoken. How many Chinese men do YOU know that would clean an apartment for themselves, let alone for someone else? Forget apartment... Most guys (read Chinese guys) in my office can barely keep the areas around their desks from being environmental disaster areas. We're doing well in my office if the guys stack the junk on their desks once a year when the bosses come around to inspect for "clean office competition". I can't imagine what their homes must be like. Oh wait. They're all married and therefore have "live-in cleaning services".

Oh, and I still don't know many/any girls that would "think nothing of urinating in public". Even here, that's still going to be a guy-only one, though that was from admin, not from the article. Smile

Doubt wisely; in strange way / To stand inquiring right is not to stray; / To sleep, or run wrong, is. (Donne, Satire III)

Rebeccapp's picture Rebeccapp Submitted by Guest on Mon, 11/18/2013 - 14:52

ha ha very good analysis Blum 3

But I have still not adopted ny of this an d its my third yr in china and 5th month in Beijing

Btw this pushing people around has very much my habit as I am from India Biggrin Biggrin

ya its general except someone cleaning ur home I dont think ny Chinese man will get up an dclean the house Yahoo though I have never tried bringing Chinese man home Blum 3 Do they also cln teh home Blum 3

britomart's picture britomart Submitted by Guest on Mon, 11/18/2013 - 11:59

A number of these seem to be specific to guys. How about a non-gender specific list? Or is this assuming that no sane girl would ever stay in Beijing "too long"?

Doubt wisely; in strange way / To stand inquiring right is not to stray; / To sleep, or run wrong, is. (Donne, Satire III)

admin's picture admin Submitted by Guest on Mon, 11/18/2013 - 11:05

How about these:

1. You consider any AQI 200 ("Unhealthy by US EPA standards) to be a pretty good day

2. You think nothing of physically shoving people out of the way to get in/off public transportation.

3. You no longer hear the honking

4. You haggle incessantly over items worth less than value of the time it takes to negotiate the miniscule discount you eventually get

5. You remember when the biggest threat to air quality was the occasional Gobi Desert dust storm

6. The occasional bout of explosive diarrea no longer warrants even a casual thought of visiting a doctor

7. When nature calls urgently, you think nothing of vomiting, urinating and/or expectoratings in public

 

 

 

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