Transitioning at 69: The Heartwarming Story of a 72-Year-Old Transgender Beijinger

After decades of dreaming about it, Xin Yue has finally transitioned into womanhood. Better still: 69-year-old Leng Rui, Xin's wife of over 40 years and their daughter are both supportive of the lifelong Beijinger's brave decision.

For much of Xin's life, such acceptance seemed bitterly out of reach. Growing up as a girl that had been born in a boy's body (per the trans-friendly terminology in GLAAD's glossary), Xin – who went by the male name that her parents had given her at the time – would tie her hair in ponytails, help her mother sew, and mostly avoided playing with the boys in her neighborhood. Xin was so fearful of contentious encounters with her male classmates that she never went to the toilet at her school.

Xin said, in an article published on February 17 by Chinese media outlet Dongjiang Shibao Wo Yao Baoliao 东江时报我要爆料, "I'd wear flowery, colorful dresses as a kid. Other people didn't know I was a boy, and I never told the other boys and didn't play boys games."

Xin went on to describe how "my skin was always smooth and I was always good looking. My Adam's apple was never prominent, I never had many hairs on my chin, and the shape of my face was always a bit like a woman's."

Still, after finishing school and taking a job at a bank, Xin was persuaded by her parents to marry Leng Rui. Before long, Leng Rui gave birth to their daughter. Years later, after the job at the bank offered their family more and more stability, Xin came out to Leng Rui. The young wife didn't take this news well, especially at first. In fact, Leng Rui tried to convince her husband to forget about being transgendered, warning Xin about the risks and even taking her husband to see a psychologist.

Xin told the Chinese news outlet: "At the time, the science was not that developed, and the proper information was not available." That made coming out very dangerous, let along attempting to transition.

But in recent years Xin began to feel deeply wronged by all that she had endured, though she did feel lucky to always have Leng Rui at her side, because other, less compassionate partners would have fled such trying circumstances. Eventually their daughter married and moved overseas, Leng Rui retired and Xin also reached a milestone: the longing to transition grew too strong. She recalls telling herself: "At my age, I can't keep denying myself anymore."

So Xin began researching the subject online, and took hormones without Leng Rui's knowledge. Xin found a hospital in Huizhou and underwent surgery there on February 13. She also opted for a name change from the boy's name given to her at birth to Xin Yue, as in the xīn from xīnkǔ, or laborious, in reference to her years spent toiling in such silence (her birth name was not mentioned in the Dongjiang Shibao Wo Yao Baoliao article). What's more, Leng Rui and their daughter slowly have grown to understand Xin's circumstances, and hope that Xin can be happy.

When asked by the Dongjiang Shibao Wo Yao Baoliao journalist if she regrets marrying, and never divorcing, a transgender person, Leng Rui said no. Xin's ever loyal partner went on to describe the years she spent with a loving husband who lined their shelves with academic books that Leng Rui did not understand, but that Xin would read aloud and explain to her. Xin told the reporter: "We never quarreled, and I never laid a hand on her. Now we're like sisters."

Their daughter jokingly, but loving, also said to Xin that she was happy to have two Moms.

Martin Yang, who works at the Beijing Gender Health Education Institute (BGHEI) and co-founder last's year's All Gender Toilet initiative in support of the local transgender community, tells the Beijinger that Xin's life makes for a "wonderful and warm story." He adds that Xin was brave to be so honest with Leng Rui and their daughter. "She wants to be herself with her beloved family."

But for him, perhaps the most moving aspect of Xin's story, the one closest to his heart, was "Xin's fear of using toilets with other boys. I think that's also the reason why we wanted to promote the All Gender Toilet project."

Yang calls Xin an inspiration for all of us to "Be true to one's self as well as to their loved ones. Keep sharing, discussing and seeking possible means to live the life of your dreams."

Xin's story is even more moving for Chao Xiao Mi, a gender non-conforming Beijinger who inspired Yang to co-found the All Gender Toilet project after she was harassed by security at a Xidan restroom last year (read more about that here). Chao tells the Beijinger that the story is "Encouraging, and reminds us to have no fear, no doubt, and just be ourselves."

Chao says the article's details about Xin and Leng's long lasting loyalty should also compel us all to "Love a person, and not only love their the body or gender, but also their soul deep inside. This is what real, true love is." 

The Beijinger has not yet been able to reach Xin Yue or her relatives for comment, though we hope to soon make contact and publish a Q&A of our own with her. More details to follow.

In the meantime, the Dongjiang Shibao Wo Yao Baoliao article, which is written in Chinese, can be found here. 

More stories by this author here.
Email: kylemullin@truerun.com
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Photos: dongying.dzwww.com, BGHEI