Beijing Bunker: "I Handle House Chores Really Well While Intoxicated"

As Beijing enters its eighth week in self-quarantine, the stories of how people have been dealing with the coronavirus outbreak – by staying, leaving, or watching on from afar – are many and varied. In Beijing Bunker, we quiz Beijingers on what approach they've been taking to stay safe and sane through the ordeal.

Do you recognize this face? If you attended last year's Beijing Pizza Festival (of course you did!) then you may have spotted Alex Shi shaking it onstage as part of the Sazón dance team. Or perhaps you just know her from around town; Shi is pretty social. As a "hopeless salsa fiend" by night and freelance media consultant by day (and night, actually), Shi generally lives life at a zillion miles per hour. Despite her high-octane lifestyle, we managed to catch up with the Dongbeijinger in a rare quiet moment to discuss the heartbreak of canceling a Thai holiday, what it feels like to be dumped by a (hypothetical) fiancé hours before the altar, as well as online flirting via dance, booze-soaked housekeeping tips, and more.

Tell us about yourself! What are you doing here in Beijing?
Well, I’m from China and moved here as a teenager from Dongbei with my parents. That was the beginning of a series of forced decisions my parents made for me in the following 15 years of my life. 

Right now, I’m hopping from project to project to identify the most terrible clients to work with in the world of production. Although that’s been on hiatus for you-know-why.

Would you consider yourself safe, sane, safe and sane, or other? 
The very thought of “I’m not sure if I’m safe” makes me sane. I’m pretty confident about my logic here.  

Has the virus disrupted your travel plans or those of your loved ones?
This is a major heartbreak. I’ll tell this story over and over again until I can go on vacation again because we are all humans and you should share my pain. My most recent work project was very stressful, and I was working overtime for days on end right before the Chinese New Year break. It was chaotic, depressing, and I felt super helpless.

But I was pulling through. I was hanging in there because of this one thought, this one thought that I was about to go to Thailand with my mom for a week, where I’d make up on all the dance time I missed because work was such gruesome torture. I was thinking about the beach, the ocean, the FOOD, the aimless walking, the sneaking out of the hotel to party after my mom was asleep. Maybe even rekindling some of my lovely encounters with a certain someone in Bangkok last year. All those thoughts were what powered me through those overtime hours. Until I was at the very tail of that meaningless and yet utterly annoying assignment that I couldn’t fight off, I was thinking those thoughts.

I’ll forever remember the brief phone call from my mom three hours before I was due to go back to their apartment to get ready for the trip the following day. It was short. It carried so much pain. My mom said, “Cancel the trip.” I knew better than complaining or trying to convince her otherwise. It was the right decision to make. It was the right call. But it was the right call with the WRONG timing. I put down the phone and canceled our flight tickets from Beijing to Bangkok, from Bangkok to the cutest Koh Samui. I kept remembering how much I adored the Koh Samui airport and how badly I was hoping to spend a little more time next time I go so maybe I can run into another old guy from the UK who says, “It’s good to speak English.” I thought of Bangkok and my interaction with other tourists – the sweet couple from Sweden who are bachata teachers and thoroughly enjoy dancing with no baggage of any sort. The food. The shopping malls. Canceled. All canceled. At my very own hands. But the worst part was, I still had about two hours of work to finish. This was like getting a phone call from your fiancé right before you need to go on stage saying, “I realized I don’t love you and I can’t go through with this marriage,” and yet you still have to finish your damn dance number because you are a damn responsible human being. Now just picture that. And think how long it takes for your heart to heal. Exactly. Mine hasn’t healed yet.

How have you been spending your time since the outbreak? 
A whole lot of group flirting with dance instructors all over China. I mean, of course, we all work from home and try to make cash but man oh man these live streaming dance classes are such amazing group activities. Even when you don’t actually have the time to dance, it’s never a miss to just chat with the instructor in the group while having another WeChat group with your friends to share screengrabs of the live streaming moments. 

I’d like to think my social time has been significantly cut back but that would be untrue if I look at how much time I still spend on texting friends individually or in the groups.

Has the situation affected your work?
It affected that aforementioned distressing contract job but gave rise to different opportunities. Again, it’s like... losing a fiancé leads to finding Mr. Right. 

Have there been any unexpected upsides to this whole situation?
Oh yeah, I’ve concluded that I handle house chores really well while intoxicated and I forget everything the next morning and I wake up thinking "ugh I have to rewash the clothes that I left in the washer" and then AHA! I did all of that drunk before going to bed the night before! You know, a pleasant surprise from your drunk self brings a lot of joy. 

Which resources (online or real-life) have proved the most useful to you during this time?
Let’s be real. Douyin. It sucks. Literally. It sucks my time away, but I have no regrets. 

What's one thing that you've done that has saved you a lot of hassle/time/insanity?
Put down your goddamn phone and turn on your 4k resolution projector and watch a movie. Too bad if you don’t have that kickass projector though. If that’s the case I won’t be able to help. 

What do you most look forward to doing once all of this has blown over?
Um. Having house guests. At any given hour of the day. Also letting the world know that my obsession with fiancé related analogies is not inspired by real-life events.

READ: A TBJ Writer's Masterclass on Freelancing Through a Crisis

Images courtesy of Alex Shi