Fast Food Watch: Starbucks' Banana Java Chip Frappuccino

Let's dispense with a few of the visceral reactions regarding Starbucks upfront. I don't drink hot coffee, so I wouldn't know whether their coffee is good or isn't, although my mother once referred to the Americano as "the worst cup of coffee I've ever had in my life." They may be everywhere, but that's good: they single-handedly created the only neutral ground in the entire country, a third place where one can have a date, a business meeting, a job interview, or just sit and tap away at a laptop.

I first had a frappuccino at a closed-door Ai Jing gig at the Starbucks at the Friendship Store, which is now an RST Video Store or something. The frappuccino is essentially a frozen coffee drink that's probably more milk and sugar than it is coffee, and comes with whipped cream if desired. It's a dessert masquerading as morning coffee. I'm pretty ok with that. The frappuccino also led to us hearing the first time Chester Bennington swore on record, which can be heard here.

Almost all of Starbucks' seasonal offerings are frappuccino-based. They have three new ones available for early summer: some kind of green tea-red bean thing (please, stop) that your Chinese girlfriend will love; a low-fat mocha frappuccino, which tasted to me like a low-taste version; and the banana java chip frappuccino. Being a fan of the original java chip concoction, I went for that.

Interestingly enough, it is not made the same way, insight I received when I noticed the seasonal menu offering when I had already ordered a mocha frappuccino. Seeing that had already been made, an enterprising Starbucks barista -- kudos to the Tai Gu Li store staff, they are friendly and helpful across the board -- grabbed the cup and dumped it, along with a spoonful of dried banana crystals and a spoonful of java chips, into a blender, re-blended it, and handed it to me. I was impressed.

On a hot day, it's refreshingly cool. The banana crystals are a nice summer edition, they taste more like dried banana chips or flakes that would be encountered in a breakfast cereal than, say, the always-unripe bananas that end up in commercial smoothies. They're a nice counterbalance to the java chips, which would otherwise make the mocha frappuccino too chocolatey.

Overall, it's a winner. It's RMB 33 for a tall one, 10 percent more than the usual mocha, but it's worth it. I don't think this is the first time it has appeared in Beijing, but its return is welcome.

Photo: Steven Schwankert