The Beijinger 2010 Charity Super Quiz on Dec 5: The Weigh-In

Fans of pub quizzes and trivia nights look out – this Sunday, December 5, is the one you’ve been waiting for. The Beijinger 2010 Charity Super Quiz brings seven of Beijing’s top quizmasters together to ask the questions, challenge your brains and test your wits. Get your teams together and get down to Hard Rock Cafe – each of the quizmasters will host one round, and there’ll be great prizes for the winners of each round, as well as for the overall winners of the quiz.

The doors open at 6pm, the quiz starts at 7pm, with food and drink specials all night as Hard Rock slash their prices for one night only. Entry to the quiz is RMB 50 per person, with all proceeds from ticket sales going to support the work of the Ping An Medical Foster Home. Look out for a post later this week on Ping An's work.

With the event just days away, we thought it apt to introduce the men who’ll be asking the questions. We invited the quizmasters to size each other up in a pre-quiz weigh-in. However, as egos flexed and tempers frayed, the whole thing soon degenerated into a playground slanging match. Ladies and gentlemen, in no particular order, your quizmasters …

GRAHAM "FIST OF FORBESY"FORBES (The Irish Volunteer)
Nationality: Irish
Age: None of your business!
Height: Head and shoulders above the rest
Weight: Consistent with the Adonis that I am
Biceps: Large
Weight Class: Bruiserweight
Record: Won 227, Lost 0 (11 Technical Knockouts and a picture round)
Finishing Move: Discreet jab to the lower abdominal region
What he says about himself: "Avoiding mountain questions this time, but as the song goes 'Simply the best, better than all the rest, better than anyone, anyone I have ever met'"
What he says about the other quizmasters: "A disparate bunch of Poms and colonials with the odd Plastic Paddy thrown in for good measure. No competition"

JULIAN "CAESAR" FISHER
(Tim's Texas Bar-B-Q)
Nationality: British
Age: 29
Height: 5' 8"
Weight: 66kg
Biceps: Undiscovered
Weight Class: Super Featherweight
Record: "Eye of the Tiger" by Survivor
Finishing Move: The Den
What he says about himself: "A computer once beat me at chess, but it was no match for me at kickboxing"
What he says about the other quizmasters: "The Irish handle their quizzes like they handle the economy; lots of early enthusiasm with talk about being a tiger, and then massive failure. The Americans handle their quizzes like they handle their lovemaking; lots of early enthusiasm with talk about being a tiger, and then massive failure. Jonny White handles his quizzes like a domesticated tiger; lots of unenthusiastic prowling and growling that concludes with him licking his own genitalia behind a pot plant"

TONY "THE TASER" TAO
(Kro's Nest - opening December 2010)
Nationality: American
Age: 26
Height: 6'0'' (1.825m)
Weight: 150 all-American (and some Chinese) lbs
Biceps: Extant
Weight Class: Welterweight
Record: 20-1-1
Finishing Move: The Pedigree
What he says about himself: "Your morality will not save you."
What he says about the other quizmasters: "More like quiz'prentices to me."

JIMMY "LIGHTS OUT" NEUTRON KIRCHHOFF
(Kro's Nest - opening December 2010)
Nationality: American
Age: 30
Height: 5-something
Weight: All-American muscle
Biceps: Extant
Weight Class: Light Welterweight
Record: 21-1
Finishing Move: Chokeslam
What he says about himself: "Ice cream and cake, ice cream and cake and cake."
What he says about the other quizmasters: "Ain't none of 'em move like me."

JONNY "BUSY LIKE LAGOS AIRPORT" WHITE
(The Bookworm)
Nationality: British
Age: A good innings for a bull
Height: Comfortably over a fathom
Wait: 119.5 seconds for the perfect pint
Biceps: 2
Weight Class: Morisseyweight
Record: "C'est La Vie" by B*witched
Finishing Move: The Killer App (but only on iPhone users)
What you say about yourself: To quote Eli Porter, “‘I'm the best, mayne ... I did it.’”
What you say about the other quizmasters: “Daily Mail headlines waiting to happen.”

ROBBIE "THE HURRICANE" HENNEBRY
(The Stumble Inn)
Nationality: Irish
Age: 29
Height: super high
Weight: perfect
Biceps: censored
Weight Class: pure class
Record: undeniable
Finishing Move: starting
What he says about himself: “An exceptional professional hailed by the skeptics. The only REAL Irishman in the race, hence the only MAN in the race, hence the only REAL contender. I'm so bad I make medicine sick.”
What he says about the other quizmasters: “Who? You mean, Graham “I’m a plastic with an absentee landlords’ surname” Forbes? You mean Jonny “The Bookworm is crawling across my face” White? You mean Julian “stuck in a wet paper bag” Fisher? You mean Karl “The Irish boy hound” Long? And as for the Yanks? Whatever. I’ll call the Yanks when I want to invade somewhere and I’ll call the Brits when I want to look good beside someone. These mugs are about to get mugged and I’m gonna go extra hard on them for wasting my time. I pity these fools.”

JOSH "VEGAS" LALLY
(Lush)
Nationality: American
Age: 31
Height: 6'3" (1.91m)
Weight: Brain = 1,400g of quiz-crunching power.
Biceps: Rock hard
Weight Class: Heavyweight
Record: Won 234 (215 KO) – Lost 4
Finishing Move: Kidney Shot
What he says about himself: “I'm the Ali of quizmasters!”
What he says about the other quizmasters: “Suck it Trebeks!”

KARL "THE IRISH WOLFHOUND" LONG
(Paddy O'Shea's)
Nationality: Irish (Greystones, County Wicklow)
Age: Turty
Height: Tall
Weight: A lady never tells
Biceps: Obviously huge, given all the cocktail-shaking and pint-pulling demanded of being Beijing’s best bartender
Weight Class: In a class of my own
Record: Broken too many to count
Finishing Move: The Greystones Taxation
What he says about himself: “I'm not a businessman, I'm a business, man”
What he says about the other quizmasters: "What’s that? There are other quizmasters?"