Having the Last Laugh with Stand-up Comedian Ryan Conner

Ryan Conner will be performing stand-up in Beijing alongside fellow funnyman Dennis Regan as part of the Chopschticks Comedy Tour on Saturday, October 24 at Block 8. agenda spoke with him ahead of his visit about stoner bosses, quitting day jobs, having to pee while on stage and the funniest joke of all time.

Had any interesting day jobs?
I worked in an on-campus deli for about two months when I was at college. One morning I was too tired to go to work, so I decided “I guess I’ll just quit.” It was weird. I never told them I quit. They never called. I never picked up my last check and never ate at that deli again.

After that, I worked for a company called Deck America – it was me, a few of my friends, and a couple dozen ex-cons. I was a “team leader” and driver. We went door to door setting up appointments for deck estimates. Somehow I made over USD 20 an hour doing this. My boss had nine felonies and was on a work-release program. After work, he would go back to prison. It was so bizarre. At work, he would smoke a bong. Then he would yell at other people for showing up two minutes late.

One day, I decided I couldn’t take working for a nine-time felon, so I stopped going. Once again, I didn’t tell them that I quit. About three months later, I decided I wanted some extra money, so I went back to work, without addressing the fact that I hadn’t shown up in three months. It was just like the Seinfeld episode, except they acted like I had been there every day, listed me as a team leader and everything. I “quit” again a few days later.

How did you get started in comedy? At what point did you decide: “This is my life, this is what I want to do”?
I’ve loved stand-up since I was about 7 or 8, but was always too shy to aspire to something like stand-up. When I was about 18, I decided I wanted to be a screenwriter. When I was 23, I had some ideas that wouldn’t work for a screenplay – only as stand-up. So I tried it out one night. It went well. It was as much fun as you could imagine anything being. At that moment, I decided that I would figure out how to get paid to have fun. It has worked out so far.

How would you describe your sense of humor?
I never know how to answer this question. To me, it’s just “I like funny stuff,” but that’s subjective. Some of my comedy is dark, some you could call weird or offbeat. I tell stories – no jokes. There are jokes embedded in the stories, but no set-up-punchline-style stuff. Other people describe my comedy as “unique, smart and unpredictable.” Let’s go with that.

Who are your comedy idols?
This is a tough question. Before I did comedy, my favorites were Mitch Hedberg, Chris Rock, Eddie Murphy, Steven Wright and Brian Regan. Once I started doing comedy, I became exposed to other people. I really like Colin Quinn, Toddy Barry, Louis C.K., Greg Giraldo, Patrice O’Neal and Bill Burr.

Other than stand-up, what else do you do?
This question is the one that will make you jealous of comics. I get up around 9.30am or 10am. I work out for about an hour to an hour and a half. Then I have a leisurely breakfast. The ever-so-leisurely breakfast is followed by two to four hours of writing. The writing can be screenplays, stand-up or my blog (www.ryanconnercomedy.com/blogger.html). It doesn’t matter what it is, I just need to write for a few hours each day to stay sharp. After 2pm, I’m free for the day to play guitar, drums, PS3, or really do anything I want. As soon as I finish writing this, I’m going to play Madden 10 on PS3 until I have to go to my two shows tonight. After the shows, I’ll probably hang out with friends until 1am or 2am. I’m going to Vegas this weekend. It’s really rough sometimes.

What are some of your favorite subjects in your routines?
Whatever is my newest material is my favorite. I do like doing political stuff, but I don’t want my set to be overly political. The things I talk about are personal stories, politics and things that annoy me or I find stupid.

What’s the funniest joke of all time?
My favorite is Eddie Murphy’s bit about drunk fathers at cookouts. It’s about seven minutes long, so I won’t summarize it. Look it up.

What’s the weirdest thing that’s ever happened to you on stage?
I had a terrible migraine before a show, so I was pounding water – like six bottles of water in an hour, plus a cup of coffee. About 40 minutes into the set, I couldn’t take it anymore. I had to get another comic to come on stage so I could go to the bathroom. The crowd thought it was part of a gimmick. It was not.

What do you have planned for 2010?
I’m working on shooting a series right now. Once it’s finished, hopefully by January, we’ll start pitching it.

Other than performing, do you have anything else planned for your visit to Beijing?
I know there’s a big time difference, so I’m hoping the Olympics are still going on and I can go see Phelps. Other than that, maybe I’ll hit up a Chinese buffet. I heard there’s a wall there too. I’m pretty big into walls, so I may check that out.

Ryan Conner performs with Dennis Regan on Saturday, October 24 at Block 8. Call 158 1026 1614 for more information. RMB 290. 9pm. Block 8. Apartment 8 Complex, Chaoyang Gongyuan Xilu, Chaoyang District. (6508 8585, info@block8.cn) www.block8.cn 朝阳区朝阳公园西路8号公馆